true significance

11. letting it go

*this a short chapter* but enjoy :)

I make a groaning sound with my mouth as I walk upstairs.  I enter my room, and decide to rinse my face off with cold water, and take deep breaths before I call this boy. After I rinse my face, I look at myself in the mirror. Ugh why do I have to do this. Stop being stubborn, if you care about him and want him in your life then fix this. After going back and forth with myself, I put my pride aside and pick up my phone and call him. *rings*
" hello? " elijah says into the phone sounding like he didn't want to answer. " Uh - elij- mm- elijah " I said completely fumbling over my words as always. " Spit it out rose " elijah said sounding frustrated. "Um just come over please, I rather talk about this in person" I said shyly. "Okay i'll be there in ten" elijah says then hangs up. I stand at the top of the stairs " I DID IT MOM!" I yell down to her. " GOOD, NOW GET YOUR ASS DRESSED! " she yelled back. I walk back into my room and turn the shower water on to let it warm up while I pick a outfit. I go to closet and get a pair of my black dickies and a ripndip tshirt. I lay it out, then hop in the shower. As soon as I turn the shower water off, I hear the doorbell ring, then soon muttered chatter. Which I assume is shared between my mother and Elijah. I get dressed, and head downstairs. I see Elijah and freeze up. He walks over to me and hugs me. Which might I add, was the most stiff/ awkward hug i've ever experienced in my whole entire life. My mother and him hug, and then we sit down at the table and begin to eat. It's been 10 minutes, and all you hear is the sound of forks scraping the plates. My mother clears her throat "So Elijah how have you been" she said. I look up from my plate, " Uh i've been okay, could be better" he said. "Could be better?" my mother questions. "Yes it's been really hard not being able to talk to...." he doesn't finish his sentence. They both look at me. "WHAT?" I blurt out slamming my fork down on my plate. "fix this" my mother says, then gets up from the table and leaves the kitchen. I sit there scraping my fork against the plate, looking at Elijah from the corner of my eyes every other second. "I'm sorry" I blurt out to kill this awkwardness. "For?" Elijah says with slight attitude.
"for pushing you away" I said in a low hesitant tone.
He didn't say anything so I continued, "I just had so many different thoughts going through my head, and I was so angry at myself, I blamed myself for a long time and I just... i'm- i'm so sorry" elijah stands up and pulls me into a comforting and tight hug. we both take a deep sigh, and stand there and never let go.