Chasing The Sun

chapter 4

To be a third-wheel when you're with a couple.

That was the only definition I could find on the internet for the term 'holding candles'. I couldn't understand why my friends had said that about Charlie and I. We weren't a couple and we didn't flirt. Okay, we didn't flirt that much.

Flirting with Charlie was fun. It was harmless. I enjoyed it. I had never flirted with anyone before and I wasn't even sure if I was any good at it. Charlie also seemed to enjoy it, considering that she didn't complain.

The next day was Saturday. Aspen and Damien had begged me to go to a party with them, and the minute Charlie said that she would be there too, I struggled to say no.

Waking up, I found several text messages from my mother. Although my mother and I were close, we hardly ever spoke. It was funny because my father and I weren't close, yet he called me everyday. My mother understood that I was growing up and needed space. I needed to find myself. My father did not agree with that. If it hadn't been for my mother, I probably would have not even attended college.

Mom - Hey baby, just checking in with you. I miss you loads and can't to see you again! Give me a call when you can.

I instantly called my mother. She picked up after two rings.

"Nova! Cómo estás?"

"I'm good and you, mamá?"

We continued having our conversation. I missed my mother and I was excited to see her. Although she was strict, she was understanding. My mother never pushed me too hard. She had always been my favourite person in the world.

By the time we said our goodbyes, Aspen was awake.

"I didn't know that you spoke Spanish," she commented.

"My parents are Puerto Rican."

"No wonder you're so fucking hot."

I laughed. For all the weeks that Aspen and I had been friends, not a day had gone by where she didn't compliment me. I loved it. Because of her, I was feeling a lot more comfortable in my skin. I had never been this confident, nor this happy and I was enjoying it. I was even looking forward to the party.

Although partying had never really been my scene, as mentioned before, I knew that with Damien, Aspen and Charlie, I would enjoy it.

The main reason why I didn't like parties was simple— my anxiety. I had been diagnosed with severe anxiety at the young age of twelve. It hadn't always been bad. It had been bearable. Unfortunately, as I got older, it got harder for me to control it. I didn't know why. One day it was fine, and the next I was laying in my mother's arms in tears because I couldn't get that feeling out of my chest.

The crowds and loud music was not appealing to me. The thought of it made my heart race increase and my breath get caught in my throat. But I was going to enjoy tonight. I was determined.

"Novaaaaa," Aspen groaned later on that evening, just as I had come out of the shower.

I looked over at her and saw her standing in front of her cupboard with her hands on her hips, her towel still wrapped around her. She glanced back at me and pouted. "I don't know what to wear."

"It's just a party," I replied with a laugh.

"Yes, but what if I meet the love of my life?"

"I highly doubt you're going to meet the love of your life at a party Aspen."

She stuck her tongue out at me, "anything is possible."

Aspen stood there, deciding on an outfit for the next few minutes. I kept my outfit simple. A denim mini-skirt and a white t-shit, paired with white sneakers and a black belt.