I want life to pause because it keeps on in its relapse
Never waiting for my mind to catch on
I want life to pause because my brothers don't seem to feel it
They fill life with their pain and constant drugs
I don't understand why people want to keep it on because sometimes I just want to turn it off—flick.
I want to feel the fire in my fingers
Sometimes I stare at buildings and wonder what it's like to jump off
I don't want death because life won't end but because I want to feel it
Sometimes I stare at sharp things and wonder what they would feel like stabbed into my arteries—but I never let them touch me cuz I'm supposed to have a life ahead of me
Sometimes I wish my life would end not to see who would actually care in retrospect but to see if it would hurt or would it numb
Sometimes I stare at heavy things wondering how long they would take to crush me not because I'd like the feeling but because I relate to the movement running through me
I relate to the feeling and the movement running through me as the off switch to my life is slowly fleeting by
The title was a lie because the thing with life is that you can never smooth things over without reading shit once or twice
Just like you can't stab your arm without it bleeding for some time
And you can't stop the life you have without having to say goodbye
But dreams are dreams
