The Light of my Life

Chapter One

Ciel pov

You may think people care for you. You may think they will love you forever, staying with you forever.

But in the end, no one really cares. They will hurt you, abuse you, and you will never get an "I love you" from them. I know beforehand that this is true because that is how my everyday life is. With......him.

I used to be a Phantomhive, living with my parent's and being loves every single day of my life. But, when I was fifteen, my parents made a bet with this couple that went by the last name of Michealis. And, if they lost, I'd have to marry their only son and my parents would die.

You'd think they were smart enough to not agree, but they threatened our business and our workers by blackmailing and kidnapping. They accepted the challenge and the bet started.

They didn't win.

So, not even a week later, they were killed and I had to marry this monster that I live with now. Sebastian may seem like a great guy on the outside, but he's unkind and never cares for me. He writes books for a living, and expects me to do the work around the house. At first I disagreed, but he yelled at me, saying awful things about me and my parents. Then, he hurt me physically I'm many ways. I...don't want to talk about it.

Two years have passed, I learned that no one will ever love you, even if you are stuck with them for the rest of your life.

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I wake up at four am every morning with my alarm set on my phone. I'm not even allowed to use internet because Sebastian says I'll run up the bill. After that, I get dressed and go downstairs to start breakfast. While he eats, I clean the kitchen and the living room. Afterwards, I mop the entire house. Then, at seven, he makes me do his errands and go around town. When I get home, I clean upstairs. Then, it's bath, and then bed. End of day.

My only close acquaintance is a boy my age named Alois. Unlike me, he lives a perfect life of luxury with his husband, Claude, who is a friend of Sebastian's. We met a few years ago and he understands my pain. He the only person I can find comfort with.

But, he's not around often. Rarely, about twice a month. So I'm left to deal with these situations myself.

I hate Sebastian so much. I wish I could leave him and leave behind my worries, fears, and find love somehow..somewhere...else.

Over the past few days, I've not been feeling like myself. Like I'm sick or something, because I get tired easily and my head sometimes spins and I can't control it. And every day, it gets worse.

I can't even see straight while I cook an egg right now. My focus is unclear. Maybe I need glasses? Sebastian came into the kitchen looking satisfied with himself. He probably finished a book or something. All he ever does is sit at his computer and work.

I lifted the egg onto the plate and carried it slowly to the table, but then my head began to spin again....and....I fell. I heard a crash and I looked up, and in my blurry vision, the plate had smashed into a bunch of pieces. I looked up again and felt someone grasp the back of my shirt mercilessly and pull me up into the air. Sebastian looked extremely furious with me. I gulped.

"You pathetic piece of crap! You couldn't even bring a plate to me? Are you that clumsy? Are you that stupid?!" He yelled at me. I felt tears pooling up in my eyes. "I don't know why my parents chose you to marry me! I want you out of my sight!" He yelled again and dropped me to the floor. I winced in pain because my hand went right into the glass. I felt at least five sharp pains in my hand as I stood up slowly and hurried upstairs to my bedroom. I flopped onto my bed and cried.

Why can't I just be loved? Why can't he see me as something to appreciate? I looked at my hand, and blood was pouring from it. I looked in the mirror across my room, and I had a glass shard in my cheek as well. I went to my bathroom and slowly and carefully picked them all out of my skin and cleaned up the blood.

After that, I just laid on my bed, too stressed to sleep.

A few hours later, my door opened and Sebastian still looked peeved. "Come on, brat. I need you to come with me to the mall. I've got stuff to get and I don't want to leave you here to be found out about." He said. After all these years, the public still doesn't know he's married. They think I'm just an acquaintance or something.

When we got in the car, I curled up in the backseat with my knees to my chin. My long sleeves covered my cuts so he couldn't see and yell at me for it. All he ever does is yell at me.

While we were driving, I saw a couple on the side of the road, kissing and making happy faces. My heart died and my vision blurred again. My stomach twisted and I turned away. I never get kissed like that. We've only kissed once, and that was at the wedding. It was short and rough, and it was also meaningless.