You Are My Story~ Alexander Hamilton x Reader

~Chapter Eight~

~(Y/n)'s P.O.V~

It's been about a three weeks since I last saw Alexander, my heart aches more as each day passes. He has sent a few letters but I can't help to think that, maybe he didn't like me? Maybe I was too much? Or not enough? It's got pretty lonely again, John had to go back to the revolution and fight, he writes to me as much as he can. So I have to be thankful about that, if he didn't write I truly don't know what I would do? He mentions his friends all the time but there hasn't been no mention of Alexander. I wonder why. 

I head down to the market they hold in the square just outside the library. I smile slightly to myself as I keep a close hold of my basket. After walking a fair bit I come to the lively market, a lot happens here actually. People smiling, laughing, ranting at each other or even sometimes fighting. It gets its good days I suppose. 

I look up noticing a certain trio, it was the Schuyler Sisters. They were so beautiful, everything they did was just so effortless. They were all smiling and laughing to themselves. I headed to the fruit and vegetables stall which was extremely close to them. I smiled at the stall owner, as I did my little shop. I couldn't help but listen to what they were talking about. My smile faded and I felt a tear roll down my face as their conversation moved onto something I wish I never heard or want to hear again ever. 

"Oh Angelica, I can't believe he left me feeling so helpless at the Winter's Ball, he made my heart beat faster than anything before. I can't believe Alexander wants to court me not only that but marry me to! How did I ever get so lucky!" 

My heart felt as if it was shattering in a million pieces, there was only one Alexander she could possibly be talking about. My Alexander. I quickly paid the stall owner and darted off as fast as I could to my safe place. Tears streamed down my face as I got to the library. I saw Mr. George working the desk, he looked at me wide eyed and come to my need. He engulfed me into a hug. 

"My dear why are you crying?" I looked up at him and sniffed. "It's n-nothing to worry about Mr. George." I replied giving him a sweet smile. "I think I'm just going to r-read for a little while, if you need any help you know where I will be."

I gave a smile again and made my way to the very back corner of the library. I set my basket and cloak down. I fixed the (f/n) bow in my hair and set off to find a book that would take my mind off what happened at the market. I find a book and take it too my little table. I sit down and start to read, so it would take my mind to an other place. I giggled at funny parts. Smiled at the heartwarming ones too. I jumped out of my seat when someone placed a hand upon my shoulder. I turned to see the face of the man I really didn't want to see at that moment of time.

"May I sit?"I looked up at him and nodded slightly. He sat down and looked at me. I looked back at him. "(Y/n), what's wrong?" I giggled a little, trying to mask my sadness around him. "Oh it's nothing, just this book. How has your day been Alexander?"

He smiled slightly, "Busy, I suppose? I should of gone back to fight but something came up and apparently I have time off to do so. I really want to be fighting. I can't just sit back while the war is going on." He came across very angry which I was surprised by. I plucked up some confidence and replied. "What are you so busy with may I ask?" He looked at me sadly a tear lingered in his eye, something he wouldn't want to admit. "I'm soon to be..married (Y/n). To Elizabeth Schuyler." I looked up at him tears also in my eyes. I go to say something but he immediately stops the words from leaving my lips. He places his finger over my lips. "P-please (Y/n) let me explain. My friends are expecting me to do this. The Schuyler sisters are one of the wealthiest families in this land. They said if I could marry a sister, no one could stop me from doing what I came here to do (Y/n)." A tear fell as I looked up at him, he noticed and sadly wiped it away with his sleeve. "A-Alexander I don't understand." I leaned up and cupped his face sadly. "Y-you should marry for love Alexander not for wealth. I-if my mother taught me one thing it was to never let something or someone you love go because you'll hold that regret the rest of your life." 

"(Y/n), I wish I could, I truly wish I could. But I d-don't have a choice." I sighed "You always have a choice Alexander, you have the right to choose." He placed a hand upon one of mind and smiled sadly. "I'm truly sorry (Y/n), I have never felt an ounce of love since my mother passed, until you came along. There is something about you (Y/n) Laurens, that makes me feel alive? Happy? Loved? But I must do this I really do. I'll never forget you (Y/n)." He placed his other hand on his heart, "You my dear (Y/n), have a special place in my heart, you always will." Tears fell from my eyes as he stood up. I didn't understand, why say all of that if you're going to walk! 
"A-alexander?" 

"I'm sorry (Y/n), I don't want to hurt you. I just need some time to think." I stood up also and looked to him, I grabbed my things and held them closely to me. I sighed sadly and decided to say something. 

"I can't do this Mr Hamilton, I'm sorry. Congratulations on your proposal to Miss Elizabeth Schuyler. I wish you two a happy life together. Goodbye sir." I turned away from him tears fell I left. He didn't bother to chase after me, that clearly showed I wasn't what he said I was. Why must things happen to me? What have I done wrong?

~Alexander's P.O.V~

My eyes widen as (Y/n) said that to me. My heart fell apart as I watched her leave. Once she was out of sight. I felt anger sink it, I kicked myself for not running after her. Why didn't I? What stopped me! I guess I'll never be satisfied without her in my life, she's making me feel more than anyone has and I've just lost her! I've lost everything I love. Love? Do I love her? Oh my what have I done! Dread and guilt started to take over me. I sat down with my head in my hands. It hurts thinking about this. I need to just continue on with what I was doing, if I want to get my views across. I came here to not throw away my shot and that I will not do. I can't disappoint. I will not throw away my shot. 
(Y/n) I will work something out you'll see.