Things

What Do You See?

You look at me and what do you see?
A person struggling with their identity. You may not know or even understand but let me explain it to you firsthand. I'm not a girl nor am I a boy, I am Genderfluid and that brings me joy. Let me break it down and I hope you will see, I am not a freak, I am simply me. Some mornings I wake up and I feel like a girl, so I dress as such and my day will unfurl. Other times I don't feel this way, I put on male clothes and I go about my day. Now don't get confused, it's not that hard, and I beg you don't judge or I'll raise my guard. I'm not bipolar nor do I have a split-personality. Whether girl or boy, both are my reality. Instead of pronouns of he and she, I prefer they for ease you see? I started this journey at just 13, I was so confused and it made me want to scream! Add in my depression and a shit tonne of stress? As you can imagine my life was a mess! I was hurting myself and that hurt my mum. I just got better at hiding them but she thought I was done. When she found out she hid all the razors, but you can do just as much damage with a pencil eraser. I'd spend hot summers in sweaty jumpers, people called me weird, they were none-the-wiser. And although I was hurting for a long while, nobody could tell the difference between a fake and a real smile.