What Am I Going To Do With You?

I will find you.

What is love? Does it really mean anything when you say it to the one? Or do you just say it, to say it with no meaning behind it? I have heard The L word being said to me from my parents to Stefan Salvatore. And now I don't know if it's a true meaning, or if it's just a plain "yeah I love you so what?".

It's past midnight- I can't do it. I can't be without Stefan, I need him. I love him forever, I can't let that go.

"Elena" murmured Damon behind my back. "Elena" he repeated.

I sighed loudly. "What Damon"

"Move on" he demanded.

"Move on?! I can't move on Damon!" I turned to face him. "You want to be with me I get it.. But I don't want to be with you! I want Stefan, because it will always be Stefan. Im sorry Damon but it's always going to be him and I can't-"

Damon cut me off sliding his right index finger over my lips. "Shut up and listen.." I heard a low grumble roar from his chest. "You need to move on and deal with him being gone Elena"

"Did you not just hear me?? I'm not picking you!" I snapped.

"I know your not-" Damon groaned frustrated. "But he's not coming back..."

I slapped him across his face. "Don't say that, He will come back!"

"Whatever."

I picked up my diary after forcing Damon to leave me alone. I flicked through the pages, and stopped on a certain date. It's August- the first day of school. Partially the first day I met Stefan.

I sighed skimming through the words I wrote. Why did this have to happen? Why can't things go back to normal- Stefan being himself. Being happy with me. No Klaus drama. Just normal.

I flicked to a blank page in my dairy and wrote:

Dear Diary,

I'm not sure what to write today but today sucks. Why you ask? Stefan is gone. I don't know what to do anymore, I know I can't give up on Stefan. But what if he never comes back? What then. Damon wants to be with me, I can feel it. But I don't want to be with him. I just want to be friends with Damon, nothing else. All I know is I have to find Stefan.

I have to find Stefan.. I love him. I guess you can say I fell in love the way he falls asleep. I love the way he sleeps. It's so.. He's so peaceful when he sleeps. Sometimes I wonder what he's dreaming about. I wonder if I'm in his dreams. I am aren't I?

Stefan... His name just makes me want to purr so loudly, I can hardly take it. Stefan is so pure. Am I pure to him?

God the dreams I had of him is just so- I wish they were real.

Damon will never make me feel the way Stefan makes me feels. Damon makes me want to have fun, enjoy what's out there. But with Stefan.. That's a different story. Stefan and I have been through so much.

This can't happen, Stefan can't be gone. Please tell me this is not happening, I need Stefan more than anything.

Don't worry Stefan... I will find you...

XXX