Tin pov.
Emptiness. Lost. Sad. I was feeling all those emotions. Why he said that. I know that he feel this same as me, but he decided to push me away. Friends. Do not make me laugh. Fuck it. I knew I should not trust him, I should not trust anyone. It was my punishment.
Drinking another glass of Whisky. Drunk I laughed at myself. Why my father liked it so much. The taste was awful, but after the third glass it tasted pretty good to me. Laptop, I don't need it. It landed with a bang on the ground. Same with tablet and other equipment.
With an hour my room was a disaster. Like after some kind explosion. Who care. I was enjoying my dink when someone knocked. Fuck them, knock all you want. I took another sip , when the intruder knocked again. Swaying with almost empty bottle in my hand , I unlocked the door.
– What?
– Nong Phu want to...What's that smell!- He whine.- You're drunk.
– Correct. Want some?
– No!
– You're right, the taste is awful.
It really was, but still alcohol is alcohol. The most important part was that I was able to forget, even if it was only for a moment.
– Give it back.- He took a bottle from me.
– Buy your own.
– Tin!
– Take it.- I sighed, the bottle already was empty.
– What are you doing!- He scold me.
– I drink. Why? You want to tell our parents.- I laughed.- It's nothing new.
I need to drink. I need a huge drink to forget. Forget about him and he's offer to be friends. How could you be friend with someone you love. I want to kiss him. Hug him. Date him, not be friends with him. For a moment I was sure that he felt this same. Guess I was wrong. It was a mistake to believe in him.
– Pull yourself together.
– Stop whining.- I sighed.- Be a good older brother and bring me some alcohol.
– Ai'Tin!
– Leave me alone like usual.
After another empty bottle of some alcohol I was like a dead meat. I have no idea what has happened to me next. Did my brother left. How much I drank. My head was spinning. I felt a drought in my throat, and I could bet that my breath stank. I need to throw up.
I curled out of bed and I dragged myself to the bathroom. I looked like shit. Just like I feel. Sad. Depressed. Lost. Hurt. The amount of alcohol I drank did not help me to forget. I still heard his words. Like a song. I was late for school, but who cares. I took a quick shower.
– You threw up on me.- My brother voice surprise me.
– So?
– Tell your big brother what's wrong?
– Stop pretending.- I rub my forehead.- Get out.
– You hurt me.- He was such a dick.
How could he act as if he care about me, when I knew that it all was just a pretending. Pretending to be a good brother. Great father, and perfect husband. For our parents he was an ideal son. For me he was just a walking fake. I need to call Pete, and move out of this house.
After an hour I was able to go downstairs and eat. Like usual the house was empty. For that I was glad. While I was eating the servant cleaned my room. For their I was probably a spoiled rich brat. Maybe I was. After all it was all about money and people.
Be good. Look nice. Behave yourself. Do not embarrass your family. Be clever. Smart. Be the best. Don't mind other people. My family wasn't the best in relations, but in others eyes we were an ideal family. For me we were just a group of people living in one big empty house.
– Send me assignment from today.
– You sound weird?- Pete notice.- I saw Can and..
– Don't talk about him.- I Whine.- For me he does not exist.
– Did you two argued?
– Just send it to me.- I notice.
– Right.- He hung up.
For the next two days I was in my room. I tried to control my emotions and return to my previous self. It was not easy, because despite that I was angry , I was angry the most on myself. I should know better, that no one could ever love me. For him I was only a one of his friends. The one in the crowd.
Pete send me all assignment, and after a weekend I was able to go to the university. I need to be strong, and secure my own life without this family. The only person close to me in this house was Phu and his mother. So I need to try and be like usual. Without emotions. Feelings. Hopes.
When I arrive at the parking he was already there. Usually he was with his boyfriend, but now he was alone. If he thought that he could start asking abut me and Can, he was wrong. For me this theme was close. He wasn't in love with me, and I wasn't able to be his friend. So for now, we were just two strangers.
– Tin.
– Pete.- I greet him.- Where's you boyfriend?
– Ae has training.
– I see.- I nod. - Something new in class.
– Nothing. Ai' Can call...
– Don't.- I cut him off.- He already told me how he feel and what he think, so stop talking about him.
He was looking at me and all I saw was sadness.
– You behave like before.
– That's a complement for me.- I sighed.- Can we just go.
– Sure.
For the next couple of hours I was focus on my class. It was only two days and a weekend, but in here it was like a whole week. It was very advance profile, and not anyone could learn in here. Most of all it was expensive. My family was able to pay it, but still I did not want to hear my father's whining about how disappoint in me he was.
It was always like that. For my parents my brother was ideal. Good look. Charm. Fans. Popularity. Always nice and caring, for our whole family, but for me he was a liar. The most great liar of them all. Because everyone believe in his lies.
– Tin?- Pete ask me.
– What?
– Do you want to go with me and eat something with us.- He ask.
– Us? You mean Ai'Ae.
– Yeah and a few friends.
– No thank you.
– Why?
I give him that look. He knew why I didn't want to go with him. Usually he was eating in the canteen of sport faculty. Earlier I was good with that, because I wanted to be close with Can. Now it was the worst idea ever. I need to focus on my study and avoid him.
– Are you sure?
– Yes.- I agree.
– But...
– Pete!
While I was looking at him, he was looking at something behind me. When I turn around he was standing there. Why he was here. Why now. Why.
