Wasteland

One Hundred Sleepless Nights

Humanity wasn’t at a total lost. Some people, a small Chinese family, let us stay in their house on the border of Nevada and California. We were so close to our final destination I could almost smell it. More than that I could smell the growing stench of zombies. They seemed to multiplying the closer we got to West coast. Soon it wouldn’t be enough to just run them over. Kill one and two take its place. Quite frankly, I was surprised at this little family. They somehow had managed to survive up until this moment without any outside help.

The house wasn’t as heavily fortified as Donnely’s was. This one was boarded up and sealed tight. They were running low on food, but the little boy, an agile thief, nicked enough for the rest of his family to live off of. Despite the secluded lifestyle, they seemed happy to just be together.

I sighed. What would happen once we got to our families? What if they weren’t even alive? And what if they were? I couldn’t staunch the feeling that once Merida found her family, I’d be abandoned. Sure, Tony and my parents were back in California, and I loved them. I wanted to see them. But more than that, I’d be lost without Merida. I admit my dependence on her. Without her leading me through the apocalypse, I’d be long dead. I was the damsel in distress and she was my hero. But it wasn’t just that my physical well-bring depended on her. I could be without her emotionally. I need her strong personality to help my weak one on its feet. I wanted her brooding self to ground me and force me to look at reality. I didn’t know what to do without her.

“What’s up, Vic?” Merida walked into ‘living room’. Speak of the devil. She sat down next to the one arm chair in the room. Her back pressed into my knees. The family had sold most of their furniture in the beginning of the onset of the zombies to insure they’d have money in the days afterward. The chair I was propped in and one lone side table were all that was left in the small room. The family had set a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor for us. Jamie was in the other room, chatting.

“Nothing.” I shrugged and rubbed my face with my palms.

“You look tired.” She noted.

“I am.”

“Well, at least we have a place to stay for the night.” She said, giving my ankle a light squeeze. “We don’t have to cram in the truck.”

“Yeah.” I got up and threw the pillows and blankets down into some semblance of a bed. We both laid down and looked at the ceiling. The lazy fan spun above our heads, throwing out revolving shadows. Jamie crawled in after we turned the lights off. He picked up a blanket and curled up in the arm chair.

My eyes stung with exhaustion. But I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to face my ravaged dreams to have to wake up in a fitful sweat again. So I forced them to stay open, ignoring my body’s immediate demands.

After an hour I heard Merida turn onto her side. She saw my eyes open. “I thought you said you were tired.”

“I did.”

She sighed. “Can’t sleep?”

“No.”

“Nor can I.” She turned onto her back again to stare at the fan.

“Why?” I asked. I didn’t want to start some deep conversation if she didn’t want to.

“I should ask the same of you.” Once I didn’t respond, she continued. “Alright. Fine. Is Jamie awake?”

I poked Jamie and shook my head no. He started snoring softly. “Okay.” Merida said, interlacing her fingers as a business man would do before laying a proposition. But I guessed she was more nervous to talk about what we were about to. “It’s my dreams.”

“Are they bad?” I asked. I felt my heart lift a little. At least I wasn’t the only one.

“You could say that. I don’t think I’ve had a good night of sleep in ages. Or, at least, once the zombies started eating people.”

“What do you dream of?”

“You know. Stuff. Zombies mainly. It’s like no matter how many I kill I still can’t get away from them. Ah, trying killing a creature that just doesn’t die. They follow me everywhere. I can’t stop seeing them.” She brought a hand to her face and covered her eyes as if she could block out the images. “Maybe it’s not even zombies. I’m terrified of people. I never was before.”

“You mean Donnely?”

“Yeah. But he was probably bat-shit to begin with. I mean the lady on the street, who beats an innocent lady to death? What happened to humanity?”

“Have ever thought that maybe we’ve had the definition of humanity wrong the entire time? What if what we’re seeing now is human’s true nature?” I suggested.

“Wow, that’s really comforting.” She drawled sarcastically, but I felt her stiffen at my words. Yes, they were horrible to consider, but what if they were the truth? A few quiet breaths. “How about you? Why don’t you sleep?”

“I have those dreams to. But, not so much about the zombies. They’re about...” I faltered.

“About Mike?” She suggested gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, about Mike. I know you told me not to blame myself. But I do anyway and I can’t stop. And I have these dream where I can see him do it, I can see him end it. It’s always so vivid. Sometimes it’s not him though. Sometimes I’m the one holding the gun and he’s begging me to shoot him and I can’t do. I don’t want to. But then he turns into a zombie and I have to.” My breath shook and my eyes felt wet.

Merida reached out and grabbed my hand. She scooted closer to me and sat up onto her side. She placed on hand onto my cheek. I felt her hair brush my arm. I couldn’t read her face in the dark.

“The world is fucked up... What are we going to do, Merida?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

“Ha.” She smirked mirthlessly. “I’m no Fitzgerald and I’m no Hemingway, but we’re all fucking lost anyway.”

“That’s a nice line. How long have you been waiting to use that one?” I smiled.

“Shut up.” She grinned back. She brought down her lips to mine. One long, lingering kiss, not forceful, not soft. And then she broke away and curled up on my chest.

“Goodnight, Vic.” She said.

“Goodnight.” I wrapped one arm around her waist.

Our breathing deepened and we were just about asleep when she whispered into my shirt. “I think I might know how to stop the zombie apocalypse.”

Her words barely filtered through my hazy thoughts. I tried to stir myself awake, but I couldn’t. “Tell me in the morning.” And right then, with her, I couldn’t be bothered with anything.