Rogue.

The Truth Hurts

[Unedited first draft.]

I spent the next week in the hospital with regular visits from my siblings and from Lady Tsunade. We had realised that for some reason, when I was holding that white Teddy my chakra didn't drain as fast. Tsunade had commented that it may be possible for my mothers Chakra to be stored in the bear, and that it was sustaining me. This made me cling to it even more during the nights alone.

Tsunade and Sakura had finally come up with a seal that would keep the curse mark dormant and unable to drain my chakra and I'd been able to go back to the apartment. I couldn't help but smile as I pulled open the door and heard voices inside, hoping to find Kakashi here waiting for me. I was slightly disappointed when I found Naruto with a few Genin boys.

I hadn't seen Kakashi since that day in the forest, he'd been as robotic as anyone from the root as he made sure I got back to the hospital and that I was safe. I'd asked Tsunade if he'd been sent out on a mission but she hadn't given me a straight answer, and had told me it would be for the best if we spent some time apart. That had hurt, but it hadn't stopped me from sitting in the hospital bed waiting for him every night.

"Saori!" Naruto chimed, bringing me back to the present. "Welcome home!"

I grinned at the blonde boy, and ruffled his hair as I moved closer. He'd come to visit me a few times, once he'd heard that we were roommates. He had told me about how he was going to go away with Jiraiya in order to get stronger and bring Sasuke home. The kid had a way of being inspiring even when the cards were stacked against him.

"Hey Brat." I laughed, looking behind him to the other boys. "What's all this?"

"We were just talking about our plans for the next few months." Shikamaru offered.

"You really think you will be gone that long?" I asked Naruto as I sat down beside him.

"I hope not, but with pervy sage you never know."

I snorted a laugh, shaking my head at the nickname and glad I hadn't got one yet.

"Maybe you'll be gone so long I'll be Hokage when you get back." A brown haired boy smirked, petting a small dog in his lap.

The afternoon went on like that, sitting with these boys and dreaming up what everyone was going to do with their training to become better shinobi. I was just about to order supper when a sharp knock came at the door, making my heart skip as I opened it hoping to find a silver haired Jonin.

"Hey." Gaara said as he saw my surprised face. "We need to talk."

I smiled at my little brother, trying to hide the disappointment and called to Naruto that I would be back. I followed him through the village and up the hill towards the Hokage's office, wondering what could be wrong. Temari and Kankuro were waiting at the doors, and fell into step with us as I noticed they were both trying to hide smiles. That took some of the edge off of things.

We entered Lady Tsunade's office, who also greeted us with a suspicious smile. Once we had all sat down, she began to speak.

"Kairi, I know you haven't got to go on many missions as a member of my Anbu but I want you to know that I have nothing but awe and respect for your abilities." Before I could thank her, she continued. "Which is why I am going to be sad to see you leave us."

My questioning gaze was met with her nod towards my youngest brother.

Gaara was leaning against a wall, watching the rest of us with almost disinterest until I looked to him and his eyes lit "You're coming home, Kai."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "What?!"

"You're coming home with us." Temari repeated, unable to keep the excitement from her voice. "Baki is standing in for Kazekage and has promised your safety."

Baki.. Even his name made me smile. The man who had been more a father to me then my own knew how.. He had heard of my being alive and had put all the pieces in place for me to come home. I missed him terribly, and my excitement was almost bursting "When!?"

"Tomorrow." Kro spoke this time, with a bit of a bite to his words. I'd told him about my time spent here, and about the Jonin I'd spent it with. He'd thrown his soba noodles at the mirror in their hotel room and spewed more curses then I'd known existed. 'He was using you.' he'd spat at me 'that's why he doesn't want to see you.'

His words had hit deep, opening wounds I had forgotten I had. Deep down I knew he was trying to be protective of me, but it hurt more than if he'd cut me down.

Tomorrow.. Kankuro wanted me away from Kakashi, and the sooner the better for him. It was bittersweet, my own anger was building at the copy ninja for avoiding me like this but I also wanted nothing more than to speak with him the way I had those few nights we stayed up talking.

"Thank you." I bowed my head to them, keeping my composure as I stood and left the room. I felt bad, knowing I should be leaving with Temari to go pack and talk about all the things we would do once we were home...

Home.. After all that had happened that word felt so foreign.

"Kairi?" Kankuro's voice followed me as I walked down the village street. "Just stop, talk to me."

I turned to my brother with tears in my eyes and he met me with a hug. He gently brushed my hair back from my face and dried the tears with the sleeve of his sweater. "I need to show you something that I found in father's office."

I nodded and let him lead me back towards the apartment I shared with Naruto. Jiraiya must have come for him while I was with my siblings because the house was empty and a note was stuck to the fridge. Through my tear blurred eyes I could only see the words Goodbye for now! Though it made me smile, we'd had so few days together but I knew he was going to come back stronger and I believed that.

Kankuro and I sat down on the couch and he shuffled around in his pockets until he pulled out a piece of paper that looked like it had been crumpled and uncrumpled a few times. "I thought about burning it, but you deserve to know." He said softly as he handed it to me.

I felt my brothers concerned eyes on me as I uncrumpled the paper and stared at it. It was a letter, written in Rasa's hand and directed towards Konoha's late Hokage. It outlined the request for an arrangement between myself and one of the two best Konohagakure had to offer. Rasa wrote that after meeting with the candidates, he was impressed by Uchiha Itachi and Hatake Kakashi. My heart sank as I realised there was no way that Kakashi didn't know about this. He continued to write that while he had originally favored Itachi, his fierce loyalty towards Konoha would better serve the Hokage and that he thought Kakashi would be the better suitor for his eldest daughter.

"What does this mean?" I whimpered to Kro as he slid an arm around my shoulders.

"It means, Kairi.. That your Jonin was supposed to be Kazekage by your side.. This arrangement would have given him power." He was trying to be gentil, but gentil never suited Kankuro. "It means he was hoping that you would still become Kazekage, that the arrangement would still stand and that he could have Sunagakure.. He probably backed off when we showed up because he knew one of us would tell you."

I felt sick to my stomach and once again I hated the idea of feeling anything at all.

"I need to be alone." I blurted before stuffing the scroll into my pocket and running from the apartment.