But do you like her...

Chapter one : Loss

"to the friends I love and the ones they love, I give them my all and in them I trust" 

Those were the words He lived by.

 Family had never been all that concerning to him. His parents would often tell him that the only ones he could count on were his family, but growing up he quickly learned that families weren't always the ones you were born into. He would confide himself in his friends.

Because of his living situation however, he didn't have many friends growing up, but those he did, he cherished as if they were made of gold. His parents, as nice as they may have seemed didn't allow anyone into their home. No matter how close of a friend they may have been they could only be in the front or back yard, no exceptions. This led him to isolate himself from his peers. 

He didn't really seem to mind being alone, matter of fact he actually enjoyed it, or so it seemed. He would spend his days playing video games. Online gaming was so fascinating to him. To meet a random stranger from across the globe was just bliss. He didn't need to invite his friends over, they were already there. 

As time progressed however, his loneliness had become more apparent to him. He yearned for companions. Online chats were fun and all but to physically be able to communicate with someone was something he thought to be a myth. He of course had classmates, but while they were all talking about how they had plans to meet up after school. He had to remember to be home as soon as it let out, no exceptions.

Things didn't really change for him until high school, this was where he finally began to open up to people. A few interactions here and there but nothing concrete. A couple of people he encountered however did play a bigger role in his life later on. One in particular followed him all the way until the end. Her name was Ramona and she would be the spark that ignited the fire inside his heart and would forever changed the way he looked at life. 

Having struggled through his classes he was constantly forced to switch around. Eventually ending up in some that to him seemed too easy. He didn't struggle or anything he was simply unmotivated. The one thing he despised more than being alone was boredom, and that's what tests were to him. Endless boredom.

Due to his constant switching around he eventually ended up in one of the easiest classes imaginable. All he had to do was show up and they would give him an A, and because of his parents strict scheduling he never missed a day. This would be where he met Ramona. Though she thought of him as a strange little fellow at first. Their friendship soon blossomed. 

Having been introduced to her by a fellow classmate, he didn't really think nothing of her. Just another person in the class of whom to pass the time with until the bell would ring, but it wasn't like that. This was his last year and she actually semed like a decent human being to him.

He graduated with honors, having copied off of the smartest kids in class made his parents proud. Everyone assuming he was among the elites of his grade while he laughed at them in secrecy. He felt superior to his classmates for they had studied day and night to get to where they were at. While he mastered the skill of copying without having to look at his own paper.

He didn't see himself continuing school, but working a dead end job in fast food was even worse. Having spent so much time alone he gathered a hand for drawing. Graphic Design was only a few lessons away, and after the third try he was even hired on by a minor sign company.

With Ramona as one of his major friends he sought comfort in his mediocre life. He didn't have any worries, he didn't seem to need anything else. His life was full. He even found comfort in a girl he met named Lisa. During High school she had a boyfriend but once school ended so did their unity.

He talked to her and comforted her after the breakup. Having known him for a while she even agreed to go out with him, and just like that they were happy. Him being an atheist and her being a christian made him thank her god for making a miracle happen. He would go to church with her and would even join in on her bible study. He didn't really believe any of it, but he did it for her. He was that kind of person, and eventually she would see his point of view. She began to question her beliefs and expand her horizons to other religions. She didn't go back on her church however, she believed in one god. Different points of view staring up at the same creator. He loved her for that, she knew he didn't believe and she still stood by him. 

However everything changed one day. The reason Lisa had broken up with her boyfriend was because she caught him cheating. This made it difficult for him to hangout with Ramona because Lisa would often question him about her. He would always reassure her that Ramona was just a friend, and she would believe him. That was until one faithful day. A concert you see. Lisa had a very interesting taste in music, but she didn't share the same passion for a certain band as Ramona did. He was that kind of person. If his friends needed it he would be there, and he was.

He took Ramona on a trip out of town to see her favorite band. Lisa didn't approve of this. He told her she didn't need to worry. He wasn't going to do anything to hurt her, but he knew it meant a lot to his friend so he had to do it.Lisa didn't approve of this. He explained that if she had said something sooner he would have taken her too. Lisa didn't approve of this. He told her he would make it better, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Lisa didn't respond.

He told Ramona that Lisa was being childish so he stopes answering her calls, but in reality she had stopped answering his. He forgot about her. For the remainder of the day he stopped worrying and only enjoyed himself. If Lisa was going to accuse him of cheating on her then that would be on her, he knew what he was doing and he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong. She would never let it go. After the trip Lisa was never the same.

"Why don't you ask Ramona"

"Don't lie to me"

"I know something happened between you two"

"but do you like her"

He never thought of Ramona as a sexual partner. She was his friend and the more he thought of her the more he began to wonder "what if". He explained time and time again that she was just a friend, but Lisa would not believe him.

"you don't do that for friends"

"Because you have a thing for her"

"but do you like her?"

This was new for him. He'd never been hated before. Lisa stopped answering his calls. She ignored his texts. For the first time he felt what it was like to loose someone. He thought he could bring her back, but he was wrong. Lisa was gone, and the only thing that lingered in his mind now were the last words she said.

but do you like her...