But do you like her...

Chapter Four: Trust

Ramona poured out her feelings to him and all he could do was sit there and listen. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to tell her something. She had no right to do this to him now. She had no right to make him feel like this. He was finally doing great. He was finally happy.

So they stopped talking for a while. He didn't want to lead her on and she needed to get over her feelings. This was for the best. With her gone he could focus on his relationship with Bella and maybe even push it to the next step.

"You do everything for her. I still think she's using you"

"Na, she's better than that. You just don't know her like I do"

"I'm telling you as a friend. She's shady"

Isabel was a friend he'd made in High School. She was the one who would constantly warn him about the girl he loved. Isabel didn't trust her any more than she could throw her, and this was becoming more and more apparent to him. While he tried to deny everything Isabel said, her words began to linger in his mind.

He thought he knew her but the more he dug the more he realized that their was so much that he didn't know. He began to feel alone again. While he had made friends with her friends. They were still just that, her friends. They weren't going to tell him anything that she was doing. They were loyal to her not him.

It had finally dawned on him that without Bella he was nothing. She had her flock of birds with her and he was still just a frog hanging on to her. At any moment he could slip and fall right back down to the ground and be alone again.

He tried to stop thinking like this. He needed to get back to where he was. Back to the happy times where he... He began to question everything. He began to analyze every moment they shared and every conversation they had. She didn't like him for him. She liked him because he would listen to her. She would get drunk and rant about her life. He was simply there to listen to her and supply her with more alcohol. Their relationship was that of a therapist and a patient but what would she do when she no longer needed him.

"She doesn't care about you"

  "She's only using you"  

He only had three friends that he didn't share with her. A former classmate he met in college named Rico. A man named Mike whom he would often go drinking with, and of course Isabel. Those three friends were all he had. the twenty something friends she introduced him to weren't his friends. He only saw them when he was with her. None of them would look for him or go out of their way to talk to him.

All of his thinking made him paranoid. What if she really wasn't who he thought she was. What if all this time she really was just using him like Isabel said. Through his analysis he discovered several red flags that hinted on her being with someone else but he didn't want to believe it. He tried to deny it but the more he tried to do so the more he began to believe it. Could she really be capable of this? Could she really be so manipulative.

He needed to test the waters. He tried to distance himself. After a while she began to look for him but something seemed off. Having noticed all of the red flags he had previously missed he was looking for any new ones that would emerge. 

"not today, I'm busy"

"I'm tired now, maybe next time"

*seen*

He stared at his phone for hours waiting for a response that never came. He sat in silence questioning everything he had said and done. He wanted to go back to those happy times but those memories he was so desperately clinging to were gone. He walked out to the cliff and sat on the same bench where they had shared their first kiss. Watching the sun set on the valley he let his emotions out and began to cry.

Time passed and he began to see less and less of her. He was losing her, and she seemed to be fine with it. Even when they would hang out, it would be apparent that something was wrong. They didn't kiss anymore, they didn't hold hands and they barely spoke to one another. 

"I need to know what's happening"

"I need to find out why she's acting like this"

"I need an answer"

Two parties back to back. One at her favorite bar and another at a friends house. This was his opportunity the re-ignite the flame in their relationship. He picked her up and off to the party they went. Pop music wasn't his favorite genre but thanks to the radio he knew every song they were playing. He did everything he could to keep the smile on her face. He went all out for her. Joke after joke, drink after drink, song after song. He made sure their was never a dull moment. Her smile brought warmth back into his heart, and for a moment he completely forgot about the red flags at least until she disappeared.

He looked everywhere for her. constantly pulling out his phone to text her but quickly putting it away. He wanted to trust her. He wanted to believe that she was a good person. He wanted her to prove Isabel wrong. She finally emerged after an hour with no word of where she had been, but he knew she had been with someone. He could see it in her face. 

When the night came to an end and it was time to head home she said she'd be catching a ride with a friend. For the first time since they started going out she didn't want him to drop her off. He tried his best to comprehend the situation and even made excuses for her. After all, maybe it was her roommate that was going to take her home.

They sat on the curve as they waited for her ride and when it finally came he knew this would be his last chance to do something. He needed to know. So when they hugged goodbye he pulled her in for a kiss and she pulled away.

  "Don't you ever try to kiss me when I'm drunk!"

He clenched his blanket trying to hold back the tears when he heard a knock at his door. He hadn't realized he had slept for so long but Mike was there ready to head out to the next party. He took a deep breath and briefed his friend on what had happened the night before.

"You gonna talk to her?"

"I feel like I should, but for now maybe just give her some space"

They talked about Bella on the way to the party when he suddenly got a phone call from her. They both contemplated answering it but he eventually gave in. It was her alright. She asked them if they were going to the party and asked him if he could give her a ride. All of her friends were going to this party and she didn't want to miss it. Mike looked at him asking him what he was gonna do as he sighed and said yes. 

"I need to talk to her today. No excuses, no interruptions"

"Whatever happens bro, I got your back"

This party was his second chance at getting some answers. While he tried to make things right with her, he feared for the worst but was preparing himself for it. He didn't want his friend to get involved but that was exactly what Mike did. He talked to her first. Mike asked her what she was doing to him. Accused her of using him and leading him on. This made things worse for him because now Bella would play the victim.

When he finally got his chance to talk with her, she was already defensive. Calling him out on everything that Mike had said to her. He had to apologize and reassure her that he had no idea Mike would do that but that he had only done it out of respect. Mike was looking out for him and wanted to know if Bella was just using him.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you"

"but the truth is..."