Forgiveness (Loki x Reader)

Snowy Morning

It was a cold, snowy morning in New York City, which was just beginning to awaken for the day. People began walking down the streets, headed to work, passing by the pillar that was set into a block of stone. Everyone in New York City knew what it was, and no longer paused in their busy day to stop and read the names of the thousands innocents who had died that were engraved into the stone—aside from one solitary figure wearing a black suit, who walked slowly around the monument, taking the time to carefully read each and every name. The man did this every morning, leaving the tower where he stayed with the other Avengers and arriving just before dawn to read the names and try and forgive himself for what he did. When he had circled the entire monument he paused to read the words written on the gold plate on the front:

Dedicated to those who died in the Battle of New York, 2012.

The tall, raven-haired man stood staring at those words for a long time, not feeling the cold one bit. Emotions swirled around inside him, emotions he kept well hidden within himself, never showing on his face. He appeared to be completely impassive, but internally he was begging these people for their forgiveness, for taking their lives from them.

Suddenly he sensed someone approaching, and he tensed, preparing for a fight if need be. A young girl came up to stand beside him. She didn't look at him, simply gazed at the stone monument in silence. Loki wasn't sure if he should leave, but something in him wanted to stand here by the monument a while longer, when suddenly the girl spoke softly.

"It wasn't your fault."

Loki was taken aback. She couldn't possibly know who I am, he thought. He didn't respond, did his best not to show any reaction at all. But try as he might, he couldn't stop the guilt from surfacing and roiling within him. He knew he had been influenced by that damned scepter; he knew that now, but it didn't ease the pain.

The girl spoke again, soft enough that only Loki could hear her. "I know who you are," she said gently. "And I forgive you."

Anger and pain flashed through Loki like lightning. "Why?" he hissed, keeping his voice low. "How could anyone possibly forgive me?"

"You have more than made up for what happened ten years ago," she said gently.

"No," Loki said coldly. "Nothing can ever 'make up' for this. These names, these people...they had lives, families, hopes for brighter futures—and I killed them. There is nothing in the nine realms that can make this right, that can fix what I did." The girl hesitantly slipped her arm around Loki's arm, and he tensed. "If you know who I am, mortal, then why do you stand so close? Who are you anyway?"

"My name is (Y/N)," she answered, not pulling away. "And I just happen to be best friends with an Avenger."

Loki stared at her in astonishment. "Who?"

"Peter Parker."

Oohhhhh, Tony was going to kill that kid for giving away his secret—again. Loki couldn't help but smile at the thought, the mischievous part of him already looking forward to the event. Then his thoughts turned back to why he was here, and the smile faded from his face.

"You don't know anything about me," he said to the girl, though he didn't pull away. I'm a monster, that's what I am. I'm the monster that parents tell their children terrible stories about at night, I can't be forgiven for what I've done. (Y/N) leaned her head against his arm, though not to get warmth—a Frost Giant wouldn't give off any warmth anyway, this she knew. Loki tensed, but again didn't pull away. He wasn't sure why he didn't.

They stood like that for a few long minutes, watching the sky get lighter as the snow continued to fall. Silent tears began to fall from his face--which he made no move to wipe away. But for the first time in a very long time, Loki felt slightly more at peace—slightly. He would never forgive himself for what he did, but he was on his way to possibly letting it go.

He felt the girl start shivering, and for some reason concern washed over him. The only other person he ever worried about was Thor, though he would never tell the big oaf that. "Go home, mortal," he said. "You'll freeze out here."

She stood straight and tried to pull on his arm, saying "You can't stand here and stare at this all day." Not that she could make him move if he didn't want to, which he didn't.

"Leave me alone, mortal," he said, softly, but in a warning tone.

She stepped back and glared at him, hands on her hips defiantly, not at all afraid of the god of Mischief. "Come on, we're going to get breakfast, stop moping about."

Moping about?! "How dare—" he began angrily, but cut off when she reached forward and grabbed his arm again, pulling as hard as she could. He didn't move. Honestly he didn't know what to make of this girl; she was totally unafraid of him—even the other Avengers, though accepting, were still afraid of him and wary around him—but this girl didn't seem to care that he had killed thousands, betrayed his own family many times, and always managed to hurt those he had cared about—hence why he didn't allow himself to care about anyone anymore. Still, the girl didn't stop trying, and eventually he sighed and allowed himself to be dragged away from the monument, his heart lighter than it had been in years.