Chapter X: If Only I

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A/N: I've attached a graphic of Hope Anwer as portrayed by Ryker Lynch.
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Chapter X: If Only I

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"It is only with true love and compassion that we can begin to mend what is broken in the world. It is these two blessed things that can begin to heal all broken hearts."

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free.

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Dex called the office of Leslie Richards that afternoon, and booked an appointment on Thursday for a consultation. He knew he wouldn't be able to be there, because of his own work schedule, but he also knew that Timmy didn't want him there, probably wouldn't ever want him there the way things were progressing. He went ahead and gave them his credit card information, even though he knew it was a really stupid thing to do. He had never seen this place, he didn't know this woman, but it was either that or send Timmy and Haley off on their own with access to his bank account, and that would be an even stupider thing to do, he knew. He might love Timmy, but he didn't trust him. Not anymore.

He called Haley to tell her the time and place, and it went straight to the generic voice-mail with the bland-voiced man telling him that 'that the user was not available'. He hoped she was out getting food, and wondered if he should print them out a few recipes. Half an hour later he was a click away from purchasing a crock-pot for them on Amazon before realizing just how meddlesome that would be. If there was one way to surely alienate himself, it was trying to act like a parent to Timmy and Haley, like they were errant children incapable of anything. He shut down his computer and went to make his own dinner.

He didn't hear back from Haley.

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He still hadn't heard back from her on Thursday, the day of the appointment. He had no idea whether Timmy ever got there or not, or whether Leslie Richards had promised to help him, or was some sort of elaborate scam artist. He hated it. He hated being just as invested in this as they were, yet being tossed to the side, continually used and then discarded. He hated that he could lose so much, and wasn't allowed control over any of it.

Once he got home from work, he tried calling Haley again. It rang this time, before sending him back to voicemail. Dex cursed and shucked his tie across the room. He headed for his bedroom and changed into a sweater and jeans before heading right back out the door.

He took a moment in the elevator to consider his options. He realized that, with fifty thousand dollars now out of his hands, even if he knew he had funds to back him up, it might be a smart idea to start braving the subway every once in a while. One thought of the state of the subway at five-thirty in the afternoon, however, was enough to convince him that his adventures in public transportation can wait. He hailed a taxi instead.

Baby Place was devoid of life when he arrived. No boys on doorsteps, no cars pulling in or out, no strolling couples. Dex paid the cabbie and stumbled out into the light covering of snow dusting the pavement. There was a slick sheen of ice leading up the steps to Dex and Haley's door, and Dex nearly slipped at the top before catching himself on the door handle. His hands scrabbled against the wood as he righted himself and then knocked briskly.

"Timmy? Haley? It's Dex, can you let me..."

The door slammed open, and Timmy's face replaced the peeling paint. "Hey," he chirped. "We're making burgers, you want one?"

Dex couldn't help but think that he could know Timmy for a thousand years, and still be continually surprised by him. He never did what Dex thought he would. It was unnerving, exciting, and every time Dex couldn't help but love him a little bit more for it.

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