tear

prologue

I open my eyes and I see it's dark. The sun isn't shining. He is gone and stole my heart. I just wanna understand. I'm all alone in this room which used to be ours. I miss his blonde hair. I miss his blue eyes. "Don't go", I whisper against the window.

I really love you. And I hate it. I hate that everybody else tried to make me love them. I hate that I thought you are a girl like every other girl. I hate myself for loving you. Because it hurts. I hate it. I hate that I hurt you by fucking other women who mean nothing.
But I love you more than I hate it.
I am not able to leave you. Please say you hate me!

His words won't leave my mind. I'm crying as if I never cried. I cry and scream for my father to save me. But he is also gone... I wanted to love. And this is love. But it hurts. Why do I love him? His beautiful hand touched my heart and now it won't forget how it felt. I want his hand to touch my heart again.

"Why am I alone? Why did he leave me?"

Because I fell in love with you and couldn't handle it , I hear his soft voice.

"Please don't be an illusion"