Turn To You

Turn To You: Chapter Three

Asha

I was so sleepy the next morning and not even coffee or skipping homeroom helped. I was fantasizing about sleep - that's how tired I was. But I'd needed the money - we'd needed the money. My family and I. I couldn't let my parents (especially my poor dad, whose fault none of this was) try to scrounge up money for bills and other expenses all on their own. Gio needed a new jacket for the winter and was probably going to need braces in the next year or so. And there were still late payments on past tuition from my old school.

My parents had both left for work by the time I got up and toasted an English muffin. I hated instant coffee, but I didn't have enough time to brew a pot, so I heated some water on the stove and poured the powdered stuff in a mug. I had to put three whole spoons of sugar in it to make it taste even remotely decent.

My first class was chemistry, where Todd sat next to me and copied my notes. I was too tired to even argue that some people - our teacher included - might see this as somewhat unethical. But it wasn't like I was giving him answers on a test - I was just making it so that he didn't really have to pay attention in class. His logic was "why should both of us have to pay attention?" and since I wasn't good at arguing, that's just how it went. Todd also had this annoying habit of trying to talk to me all class long, which would drive me crazy when I didn't have to fight to pay attention - but when I was so tired I could barely hold my eyes open, it made me contemplate the boy's murder. I kept having to put my hand up between us to indicate I didn't want to talk or just say "shut up! I need to hear this!" about twenty times.

I was so glad to get out of class with Todd that I almost perked up, but then Mr. Connor, my history teacher announced that we'd be having a pop quiz today. I hadn't even had a chance to read the previous night's chapter, yet. My shoulders slumped, but I took out a pen and prepared to feel like an idiot and a failure.

By lunchtime, I was in full-on zombie mode. Not like I wanted to eat brains, but like the walking dead on autopilot. I decided to just get out and skip the remainder of the day. I didn't think I could take Todd bugging me about letting him copy my homework, too or listening to his friends at the lunch table talking about baseball or their classes. I was too tired for all of it. Instead, I left Todd a nice note in his locker telling him I didn't feel well and went home.

Once I got to the house, I knew what a great idea it was. No one was home - mom and dad were at work and my brother, Gio was at school. I had hours ahead of me, all to myself and that was plenty of time to chill with some hot tea and maybe get some school work done. Instead, though, I ended up falling asleep upright in my bed while watching a talk show. 

When I woke up three hours later, the house was still silent. School was over but my brother had his baseball game so his teammates' carpool wouldn't drop him off until later. My parents were still out. I decided to shower and make something to eat. It felt good to be alone in the house.

After my shower, I padded around the kitchen with bare feet and towel-dry hair in my Care Bears nightshirt. I started a pot of rosemary potato soup from a recipe that my mom left in her recipe index. While it heated, I put together bread and cheese for a grilled cheese sandwich and put them on a plate on the counter. Our family dog, Truman was lying in the middle of the den but when he smelled food he came to see what I had. I reached above the fridge and gave him a treat from an old cookie tin that we kept them in. He was momentarily satisfied and trotted back to the cozy carpet in front of the bay window. The sun was at that stage where it was lower and seemed closer, so that the light burned bright through the window. I squinted and pulled down the shade. I went to the television in the living room and switched it on. I wanted something to keep me company - no matter how nice it was to be on my own, it still felt strange to be surrounded by such complete silence.