Ready to Fall

Chapter 1 she's out of my Life

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She's out of my life. She's out of my life

And I don't know whether to laugh or cry

I don't know whether to live or die

And it cuts like a knife

She's out of my life

-'She's out of my life' by Michael Jackson-

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Everything is very quiet in the Crimson Univesity.

At this time of night, students and faculty alike would be in their own rooms either in deep slumber, trying to prepare for the next day's lessons or doing their nightly routines. No one is expected to be wandering outside the dormitory buildings.

Just like Sarah. She is in her room doing some final tweaking for her latest invention. On her bed, James and his rabbit are comfortably sitting while reading a magazine about cars. Occasionally, he calls her attention and share to her ideas for her next inventions. If this was four months ago, James could probably make Sarah throw him out of her room just by opening his mouth. But within those months, she got accustomed to his presence. She even finds it comforting.

Ferry is also in his own room fussing about their next lesson in chemistry about atoms and molecules. He secured a canister of coffee before he resigned to go upstairs. He's probably the only one from their class doing this.

This is proven by Mark, who's soundly asleep in his own bed, dreaming of a date with Anna.

Anna, however, is dreaming of something else – a food festival. She's now in her fantasy of whipping the best food recipe that would knock the judges out of this world with just one taste.

Nonoko, who's in the room next to hers, is lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. She has been thinking of what Karl might be doing at this hour. Is he sleeping? What would he be dreaming about? Could she be in it?

Oblivious to her, Karl is having a hard time sleeping, because someone from the other room is pacing and thinking out loud. Even without his Mind-Reading Alice, he could hear the person next door. It would have been bearable if they are thoughts.

Five rooms from Karl, just down the hall, Selena is still not done with her regimen. She's applying stuff to her face to keep it smooth and spotless. This is very important before she goes into her nice beauty rest.

In the Northern Forest, the little brown stuffed toy known as Mr. Bear would be resting in his cabin, soothed by the burning wood in the fireplace – which he chopped as part of his everyday routine – with a cup of tea by the table beside his recliner. Sitting by the fire, it reminds him of his master. When Jerwin Lopez, his master's best friend, graduated almost a year ago, the shadow manipulator left him at the custody of a certain brunette and her close friends. They have all been nice to him, but still he misses the warmth he receives from his master's hug.

Somewhere between the Middle School Dormitory and School Building, a certain Sakura tree is also missing the warmth it receives almost every night. It misses the nights full of exchanged stories between two certain students, who have made it a habit to meet under it after dinner time. It was not all it heard. Yes, it heard arguments and even silence. But not the barren silence it hears now. It used to be always full of warmth and comfort, but tonight it is empty and quiet. It's lonely. It's cold.

Cold. That's exactly what the boy standing under the tree feels. He feels cold, but it has nothing to do with the breeze of the evening air blowing his raven hair to his face. The coldness comes from deep within, and it's so strong that he could sense himself tremble.

Empty. He has never felt emptiness for more than five years now. There's always that something – someone – who fills those blanks in his life. He has known what it feels like to be happy, really happy. Now, after five years, it feels like it's slipping away again from his hands. The happiness that he was starting to get use to has all of a sudden been replaced with condemn and hatred.

Condemn and hatred. She has never looked at him with condemn and so much hatred. It's old news that they fight. They fight like their day won't be complete without an argument. But she never gave him that look. Her eyes has reflected a lot of things – of emotions, mostly happiness – but never condemn and hatred. He never believed it possible until fifteen minutes ago, when he not only witness it, but has received it.

And he knows he would never forget it.

"I thought you never want to talk to me again?" He asked when the owner of those eyes met him under the tree.

He didn't expect her to be there tonight. He thought for sure, after their encounter that afternoon, she would not come. But she did. He knew she probably came to try to patch things up. She never could stay away, even after they fight.

But the night did not go well.

"From now on, stay away from me, Daniel," he remembers her saying. She did not yell. He would have preferred for her to yell. He was used to that. But instead, she said it in a calm tone – the kind that throws shards of ice to the person spoken to. "Don't pretend like you care at all. I'm tired and I've had enough."

No tears. She did not cry when she turned her back and walk away.

She has walked away from him before, but she always came back. She insisted of not giving up on him, no matter how he tried to push her away. Tonight, however, he knows. He knows that she would not come back. He really did it this time. He lost her. He lost her even if he was not trying to. He lost his warmth. He feels like his flame is dying out.

And now it's cold and empty.