𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 ♪ 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗 ✔

90. Markson's encounter (13)

Mark's grip on the steering wheel was tighter than his posture and Jackson could see it. His knuckles were white and cold, eyes set on the road, not bothering to spare Jackson a single glance.

It looked like he was determined. Mark had been debating this on his head for more than a month now. Although he still had a lot of hesitation and second thoughts, he thought that this was the best way to be done.

He didn't want to keep living the way he does and is desperate for a new environment. At first he thought that literally being in a different field and meet new people would help that, but as he got to live that chosen lifestyle, he can tell primarily it wasn't the best way.

"Mark..." Jackson hummed, wanting to blow off steam for the said male. However, he just continued to ignore the other in the passenger seat.

Jackson was silent then, knowing that there was no use for him to try and get it out off Mark's chest.

This days started out with Mark calling him at 7 in the morning, informing that they were going somewhere but he refused to tell where specifically.

At first he thought that they were going to go on a surprise date. But Jackson's fantasy would be diminished when Mark picked him up with an unenthusiastic expression, he looked weary and low-spirited.

It confused him even more when he saw there was a bouquet of freshly bought flowers in the backseat.

Now here there are, in Mark's car with famous songs playing in the radio, passing by buildings which then gradually turned into trees. Wherever Mark was taking him is surely distant from the busy life in the city.

After a few more miles of trees and silence, Mark pulled up in a place for respect and eternal rest. They got out and was immediately greeted by a cool breeze. Mark walked over to the entrance with Jackson following close.

"Mark," Jackson trailed off. "What are we doing in a cemetery?"

Before replying, Mark took Jackson's hand in his, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "Let me introduce someone to you," he said as he guided him through the various graves.

This is most certainly not a date, Jackson thought.

Mark stopped at one specific grave, kneeling down to place the bouquet on the ground.

There in the stone it read, Shin Hotae. Jackson has heard of this name but couldn't quite remember when, where, and who mentioned it.

"He's Hotae, my boyfriend," Mark said slowly, still on his knees, not looking at Jackson. "Well, used to be... when he was alive."

"What was he like?" Jackson hesitantly asked, not wanting to trigger him.

The other didn't see it but Mark smiled softly as he recalled his memories of Hotae coming back to him like a huge wave, drowning him with all the emotions he's ever experienced.

"He was very kind. He didn't have- umm... how should I say this?" Mark chuckled. "I guess you could say that he didn't have a significant personality that made him stand out from the rest, but I suppose that was what made him down-to-earth."

Mark continued to tell things about Hotae that they had to sat down to find a comfortable position. Jackson listened to everything Mark shared and would occasionally add a few comments, making sure to interact with him.

"Remember Auntie Jungeum?"

"The attorney that went to your apartment last week?" Jackson asked, Mark nodded.

"She was his mother," he revealed, shocking Jackson. "The reason why she visited was to give me something Hotae never got to do." He paused then looked up at the sky. "We talked about it for a while prior to his death..."

He took out something from his pocket and Jackson immediately recognized it as the box that was given to him by that lady- Jungeum.

Mark opened it, and for the first time Jackson saw what was inside it- an elegant silver diamond crusted ring from a lavish brand. In it was a folded letter as well. Mark opened the handwritten letter, eyes brimming with tears as he saw the heartfelt words of his deceased lover. He had already read it and cried so much.

He tried his very best not to break down again. Mark had already cried so much to the point where it felt tiring to do so.

Jackson placed his and on Mark's back, attempting to comfort him. Mark sniffed his tears away before muttering, "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's normal to cry." Jackson gave him a soft smile, "Crying just shows how much you love someone. Some people cry when they're sad and some people don't. You can't control how you feel and it's up to the body to react to how it thinks it should to help to relieve us from a situation."

Mark wanted to be strong, he didn't want to look vulnerable in front of Jackson, to be more professional about the scene, and to not look helpless. Yet, he can't help it.

Jackson pulled Mark into a hug when he started to break down. The other hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Jackson," Mark sniffed. "For being here."

"Well you tricked me into thinking that we were going on a date, so..."

Mark laughed, hitting Jackson's arm lightly, "You idiot."

Once they calmed down, Mark pulled away from the hug then looked back at Hotae's grave. "I bet you're wondering what happened to him."

Instead of using his words, Jackson nodded.

"It's pretty anticlimactic," Mark sadly smiled. "It just happened so suddenly, everyone had a hard time accepting it. One day he was walking among us then was gone the next."

Mark was beginning to tear up again. With a shaky voice, he managed to say, "Maybe he was just there at the wrong time. It just so happens that he was present when a crazy man came in the store, accidentally shooting him instead of his targeted victim. Hotae didn't even saw it coming."

With crimes present in the world, things like these do happen to people and it does take everyone by surprise. Criminals are humans just like the rest. They all have the same specie.

"Auntie Jungeum did everything she could to bring his death to justice. Normally, she never takes things personal when she's at work, no matter which side she's paid to be on. But since it was her son that has been wronged, auntie did what she could so her son could rest in eternal peace. And she did."

Mark picked up a few weeds growing from the ground, throwing it away to make Hotae's grave look presentable.

"I thought Hotae did find peace since then. I mean, what was there for him to worry?"

Jackson silently watched Mark busy himself while he continues.

"Then it came to me. Hotae can never be at peace. Not when I'm still dwelling," Mark said. "Bam actually told me about how my behavior could potentially haunt Hotae but I've always dismissed the claim. However, as I do accept his death, I start to realize that I'm the only one clinging on."

Jackson knew what he was talking about. Back in China, Mark had told him that he did liked him back, but isn't ready for a relationship. The latter had assured him that he wasn't just playing with him and was genuinely trying to be happy again.

It seems like maybe this was what was stopping Mark from being that state again. Because he felt like he never completely lost his boyfriend. 

But Mark was finally ready to face that final obstacle that was keeping him from where he is now.

"You should introduce yourself to him."