Discorded Notes

My Death

I was going to do it. I was going to die. I'm going to commit suicide. I have to.

Ever since my twin sister Skye was murdered, everything began to get hard. Everything began to go astray, and nothing was going my way. 'Death. Death is my only chance at life,' I told myself as I attempted to believe my fate.

There was nothing I could do, I was going to jump off this cliff and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't want to, but what kind of person wants to die?

I admit I'm suicidal because I'm about to commit suicide myself. I keep telling myself that when I die, there will be no turning back; as if I'd want to anyway.
Nonetheless, tears flew one by one down my pale pinched cheeks, no one was going to save me from this one, it was an isolated place and no one would come out this far, not to do anything.

Putting one foot inside the cliff, I got a feel of death. The eerieness of the isolated place was creeping me out, and I just wanted to get my death over and done with.

'What is the stalling about Cate?' I thought repeatedly.

I only wanted to say goodbye to everything I loved, me, myself and I... who was I kidding? I didn't love myself, I  didn't love anyone or anything. Well, I did like someone, but he wouldn't love me, however hard I'll try.

'Think negative thoughts, that's all I can ever do!' I said to myself, squeezing my eyes tight shut.

'I have to do this,' I repeated this several times before my leg dangled lifelessly before me as I finally launched myself into the cliff.

BANG

I fell upon the cold gritted floor. Someone had saved me, not exactly saved because I didn't want to be.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" I almost screamed at the person.

I looked at him. It was a guy. A good looking guy, may I add, but he'll never love me and she never get the happy ending he deserved.

As soon as he let go of me, I jumped for the cliff again, once again, he saved me.

I started crying out, telling him how much I wanted to die and he kept protesting.

Until after a few minutes, he stopped, and so did I. I was confused and upset.

"Fine. If you want to die, at least tell me why?"
"Why?" I scoffed in his face, "Do you even have any idea of what I go through every day? Do you live my life? I bet you don't even have any difficulties in your life! You have anything and everything that you can ever need ever! What would 'saving'  my life do for you!?" I screamed back at him.

But he stayed calm and collective, though he looked a bit thrown that I'd shouted at him like that, I couldn't just stay calm like he'd done when he was literally insulting my life, and the way I want to die.

"THIS IS MY LIFE AND MY DECISION!" I Shouted at him again once more for good measure.

"If you want to be like that, I will NEVER let you out of my sight ever again. I will not let you kill yourself... Or else..."

"Or else what? You think you scare me, that you intimidate me, just like you do with the 'guys' at school with your so-called good looks and smile. You think that you can control me, keep me in that little palm of yours and control me. Just like you do with the rest of them, but you know what, you don't. Why do you care so much about me? I've never even done the slightest thing for you and you've never done anything for me either, tell me... Why?"

"It may be because I'm a little high, or that I've never seen anyone like you, but for some reason, I care about you and your well-being. If I want to care about you so, why won't you let me?"

I was completely lost for words. This was the first guy which actually tried and succeeded and helped me. All that I knew was that I was confused and many strange scenarios were going around my head. Like, why does he care? Does he think that I'm pretty because no one's ever thought that of me before? The one thing u knew for sure, is that he was one mysterious guy and he was going to cause so much trouble poking his nose into my business, which, may I point out, is nothing to do with him. The thing is if he actually does like me and was actually in love with me, then, there is something wrong with him.

Whether it was that he had mental issues like me, or if he was just a bit crazy in his head, no one has ever liked me, so why should he like me?

This would be the start of something very confusing and strange.

So this is the first chapter on my story 'Discorded Notes' to be honest I don't know where this story is going to go, but who knows I like to make things up as I go along. This was very hard to write but as long as you guys like it 🤗