Lost : Yoonmin

Chapter 6

'Why didn't you tell us?' Jin asked.
'I didn't know how...' I just cried more and more, how am I going to survive this, Ive failed everything and everyone will hate me.
Jin hugged me tightly and told me to clean myself up. I nodded and started to splash my face with water and taking deep breathes. Jin walked over to the toilet I was next to before and looked at the vomit. I had completely forgotten about that. Oh no oh no he can't know about that as well!!!
'Hey, jimin why don't we get something to eat?'
He suddenly said after flushing the toilet. 'You don't have to eat much, how about just a yoghurt?'
I nodded, it won't have many calories right? And I haven't eaten all day, it may help my headache which has been getting worse and worse all day. I didn't want to talk to anyone ever again I just want to hide and never come out.
Jin took me out of the bathroom and told me to sit down in the corner while he gets the yoghurt. I feel so sick and worthless what's the point of living I hate everything. I barely could keep the tears in when Jin walked back over.
'Try to have some even if it's just half okay? I'm going to talk to Yoongi alright?' He said with a smile.
'Can you not tell the others please?...' I whispered.
'I won't but if anything else happens I might have to ok?' He said before walking off.
I sighed. Why did I have to be alive with all this.

Yoongi's POV:

'Hey Namjoon, can I talk to Yoongi for a minute please?' I turn around and it's Jin looking kind of concerned but trying to be relaxed. What does he want? Have things got worse? He takes me to the bathroom to get some privacy away from the others.
'Listen Yoongi, Jimin is really not doing well. He told me about what happened but asked me not to tell anyone. I wasn't sure if he told you everything he's done'. He started looking nervous.
'What do you mean? I know what happened with his family and I know he's not eating. He didn't admit that but it's obvious. He hasn't really said much.'
'He hasn't told you then...' Jin replied looking down at the floor.
'What happened?????' I said. What's happened what hasn't he told me? I could feel the tears threatening to fall out.
Jin sighed 'he has been self harming, I don't know how long for but some of the cuts were bleeding when I saw him. I've bandaged them up but it doesn't look good. He also threw up the food he ate earlier in the lounge. He hasn't eaten at all. It doesn't look good Yoongi'
Tears began running down my face. I look down I really don't want to cry in front of Jin but how did I not notice Jimin has been struggling so much.
Jin noticed i was upset and gave me a tight hug.
'It's going to be alright, we will help him through. I will keep an eye on him as well. We will talk to him again when we get to LA in the hotel as we have our flight soon. I'm going to tell Namjoon when we get to LA though okay? He's our leader and he needs to know and it might help.'
I nodded and tried to wipe my eyes while Jin gave me another tight hug.
'I'll sit with him now and keep him company while you continue your rapper talk but we will make sure at least one of us has an eye on him at a time ok?'
I nodded, I was kind of upset Jimin didn't tell me but I guess he must have felt uncomfortable talking about it. I walked back over to Namjoon and Hoseok and sat down next to them. I struggled to keep focus because I was worried about Jimin but whenever I looked over to him, Jin seemed to be talking to him and he seemed distracted which was good. Namjoon has to say my name a couple of times to get my focus again and again but I think he could sense something was going on but didn't mention it.

Jimin's POV

'How's the yoghurt?' Jin said as he sat down next to me. I shrugged it was alright I guess. And at least it got rid of my headache.
Jin began talking about a film we watched sometime last week. I couldn't really remember it but I tried to keep interest.
I didn't realise how tired I was, I have had trouble sleeping for a while now especially since my brother. I keep waking up a couple of times every night from having a nightmare I wake up crying every time but luckily no one noticed as I have my own room at the dorm. I think we are sharing bedrooms in LA though which I'm kind of worried about.
'Jimin, our flights just been called let's go!' Jin said with excitement.
We got up and grabbed our hand luggage.i suddenly felt a hand grab mine a squeeze it. I look around and it's Yoongi. I give him a smile as we walk into the gate.
'Do you know how long the flight is?' I heared Jungkook ask.
'Too long!' Replied Yoongi. He has never liked long flights.
'You okay?' He asked.
'Yeah I'm fine' I replied looking away, I really didn't want to talk about what happened now.
'Hopefully there's no babies crying near us!'
I laugh, Yoongi always knows how to make me laugh.

Once we got in the plane I sat next to Yoongi and next to the window. I noticed Jin sat next to Yoongi on the other side as well.
After around 20 minutes into the flight, Yoongi fell asleep. He sleeps all the time, literally. I was worried to fall asleep just in case of any nightmares. I decided to play on the entertainment system and watch something on there but I couldn't focus on anything. I started daydreaming as it was the only thing I could think of doing.
A flight attendant started offering people food I noticed and decided I would just deny the offer as I had already eaten a yoghurt and I really don't want to go over my calories limit.
'Would you like anything to eat sir?' The flight attendant asked me. I felt myself beginning to panic so I took a deep breath.
'No thank you I'm ok' I said quickly. She walked off straight away. I know it's stupid stressing over just that but I really couldn't help it. I don't know what's got into me.
'Hey Jimin, why don't you get some sleep? You look pretty tired.' Asked Jin.
'No no I'm not tired' I quickly answered looking away. I can't sleep now.
'Oh ok. Can you wake me and Yoongi up if we arrive then?'
'Sure'
The flight was going on forever. I hated it. I was stuck in a plane and I couldn't escape anyone.

After forever the plane landed. I woke up Jin and Yoongi.
We made our way back through the gate and collected our luggage. Then we headed straight for the cars which would take us to the hotel. I admit it was hard not to fall asleep but I couldn't. Once we arrived at the hotel, it was decided that I would share with Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin would share and so would Jungkook and Tae. It left Hoseok to have his own room which he was happy with.

Once we got into our rooms and brought our stuff in, Yoongi came over and gave me a quick kiss and embraced me. He noticed I was tired so he let me rest my head on his shoulder.
'Jin told me what happened today...' he started, 'Jiminie, is everything ok?'
I shrugged my shoulders as my eyes filled with tears. I hate myself I hate my life. Why do I have to exist? Tears began streaming down my face.
'It's ok it's ok' he said softly as he noticed I was upset.
'I'm sorry, I just can't cope with my brother ... being... gone' i choked, 'I'm failing everything. I'm fat and worthless and everyone hates me. How could I let my brother die while I'm here being a fat, lazy, greedy pig...'
Yoongi hugged me tighter as I cried more.
'Jiminie your not fat or lazy or greedy I promise. It's going to be ok alright?'
I had no response I was just so upset.
'Jin told me about... your arms. You know you could have talked to me right?'
I nodded I felt so so bad but I didn't know what to do.
'Are they ok now?' He said while looking at me then to my arms.
'Yeah, Jin bandaged them. I'm so sorry I just didn't know I'm sorry' I sobbed.
'It's ok it's ok' we hugged a bit more as I was still very upset.

Yoongi's POV

I didn't realise how upset Jimin was and how much he was hiding it but I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me though.

I don't know how long we were like that but soon enough there was a knock on the door.
I walked over to the door and found Jin outside.
'Is everything alright with him?' Jin asked.
'He's a bit upset but I think he's alright now'
'ok that's good remember just text me if you need me anytime alright?'
'Ok thanks. Have you told Namjoon yet?'
'No I haven't not yet. He was busy working but I'm going to tell him later. Also it's dinner now we are all going to Hobi's room. Bring Jimin, he hasn't eaten much today.'
'Ok we will be there in 5'
'Ok cool!' With that I closed the door and went over to Jimin.
'Jiminie we have dinner now, let's go to Hobi's room as we are all eating there' I said immediately realising Jimin looking scared.
'I'm not hungry...' he stuttered nervously.
'Come on i know you are. You don't have to eat much I promise.' With that he got up and I held his hand as we made our way to Hoseok's room.
We knocked and Hobi let us in. I think it was obvious Jimin has been crying as his eyes were red but no one said anything and he seemed ok at the moment. I gave Jin a small thumbs up to show he was ok.
Soon enough pizzas arrived for everyone and everyone just shared different flavours.
Jimin ate 2 slices very hesitantly but at least he ate. I think he felt a bit better after anyway as he seemed to get more colour into his face again instead of being really pale.
'Jiminie, aren't you going to eat anymore? We have had a long day today.' Jungkook suddenly asked. I quickly looked at Jin which quickly changed the conversation so something else before anyone noticed. I gave Jimin's Hand a squeeze. He looked really tired so I decided it was probably time to head back.
'Me and Jimin are going to head back to our room now. We are both quite tired and we don't want to be tired for tomorrow.' I said hoping everyone won't ask questions.
'Ok see you tomorrow' said Namjoon, he looked quite tired as well.