The Notorious R(uth) B(arakat) G(rimaldi)

Chapter 41: A Short Chat

R-"Can you come by a little early to walk me to school? I think we need to talk."

E-I don't think so. I think we've said all there is to say.

R-You can't mean that! If it's about me apologizing to you, then I will! I'm so, so, sorry. There. I've said it in a text, and I'll say it in person when we see each other.

E-No, it's not about apologizing, it really isn't. What happened between us just clarified something I should've seen before, that's all.

R-What's that?

E-That, no matter what the circumstances, the differences between us, age-wise and other, are too big to be bridged.

R-That's not true! We're barely three years apart! Your father and Sam were much farther apart than that!

E-That's exactly my point. It's not just about our ages, thought there is that, also, I suppose. We're very different, and in ways that won't change. I'd never have just blown up at you the way you did me. I would've understood how important this was, and I never would've wanted to stand in your way.

R-And I don't! Honestly, El, I don't want to stand in your way! You were right, I see that now. We can enjoy each other and love each other until you go, and my parents said we can go to England this summer to visit you, too! The rest will work out somehow...

E-I don't think so. 

R-Oh god, Elliott, is this about sex? Because we don't have to if you don't want to. I'm sorry I was so pushy, I am. Please let's just talk in person? If not before school then after? We'll have the house to ourselves, Pop is teaching a seminar at UOP.

E-No, that won't work either. I'll come over and we'll just end up getting closer and closer until we're just making out, and that will turn into an argument, too. I'm not going to do that anymore, I care about you too much to keep fighting with you.

R-See, you admit it, you care about me! Don't just throw it all away because--because--I don't even know what we're arguing about anymore, Elliott! You care about me, I care about you, I don't mind if you go to England, and I'm never mentioning sex again, so what's the issue? Please? Please please?

E-You must stop texting me, all right? This is going to be hard enough, having to see you at school every day without all this texting.

R-What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?

E-I thought we'd already broken up, to be honest. I thought that's what we'd done at the picnic tables at school. 

R-No! That was just a fight, which wouldn't have happened if we didn't have feelings for each other. When adults fight, they work things out after, right? Right?

E-Sometimes.
Look, you've proved your point: You're an adult, in all the ways that matter, okay? I'm glad we had this talk, that we didn't end things angrily.

R-But we can't let our last words be via text, can we? Please, Elliott. I'm coming over right now, so we can talk in person.

E-No, please don't. It's quite late, you'd frighten my grandparents ringing the bell.

R-So sneak out to meet me, we'll walk and talk.

E-Ruthie, I'm asking you, please, please don't come. I'm not sneaking out. I'm finished sneaking around. My grandparents have got me captive here for the moment.

R-So you're not going? For sure?

E-Yeah.

R-Then the reason we were fighting in the first place has gone away, hasn't it?

E-No. We weren't fight about whether I was going or not, it was never about that. We were fighting because you were angry that I wanted to go. And I really did. And I would go still, if I could.

R-And I UNDERSTAND that now, I do! Please don't say we're through, please.

E-God, you're crying now, aren't you?

R-Now? I've been crying all day, Elliott! You're that important to me. Please, let's talk.

E-No. I'm finished talking, truly. We need to remain civil, because we have most of our classes together, and we have Les Mis, but we can't have a romantic relationship anymore, all right?

R-I won't agree to that.
Unless you're saying you don't love me anymore? Is that it?

E-Don't be daft.

R-Whew, you took so long I wasn't sure what you were going to say.
So if you still love me, then surely we can work everything else out?

E-I just don't see the point. I mean, regardless of how this shakes out, at some point I will be returning to England. I'm English, it's my home. And now I have Sam and Liam, who are my family, more than these people I'm living with now will ever be. And you have another year of high school, then four years of college? When would we ever see each other?

R-We'd find a way, we would! My dads said that if a relationship is meant to endure and survive, it will, and that nothing can kill it. So our relationship deserves a chance, Elliott, it does! Regardless of my age, or what continent we'll be on, or whatever, it deserves sun and water and a chance to grow!

E-Very aptly and romantically put, Jelly Bean, but has it occurred to you that maybe me ending things is part of that process? That maybe this, what's happening right here, is the natural course of things?

R-No! It can't be! You still have feelings for me, you said so!

E-God, Ruthie, it's nearly three AM. I'm knackered, and you must be exhausted as well. Can we just agree that we'll be friends, just friends?

R-What does that mean?

E-Exactly what it sounds like. We can talk and be friends, but nothing romantic. We can even date other people.

R-Is that what you want? Is that what this has been about? Seeing other people?

E-No! Oh my god, you can be so clueless sometimes!

R-That's not fair, Elliott, you 're the one who brought up other people! What was I supposed to think??

E-Okay, okay, fair enough. No, I don't want to see other people. But I could if I wanted, and so could you.
We have to leave it at that, because I need to sleep. Good night, Ruthie, see you at school.

R-Oh my god. Good night, Elliott, I love you.