Remember me: A Xiumin Fanfiction

8. Promise

You woke up in a bright room. You were in hospital. You were in hospital again ? You looked around and saw Xiumin right next to you. He was sitting in a chair, but his upper body was lying on your bed, and he was holding your hand. He was asleep.

You stroked his hair and he slowly opened his eyes.

" Y/N... Do you remember what happened ?"

" Xiumin... you found me..."

He sighed in relief.

" You're so stupid... You're so damn stupid.

" Just how did you find me ?"

" Everyone told me to talk to you. Our friends... our family... and Luhan literally begged me. But the truth was... I couldn't take this silence anymore myself. Su Jeong told me where you went. But at the beach I only found your towel and your shoes. You tend to swim large distances. I somehow knew that you were out there. But I only saw you after swimming a while. I saw that you were having problems and I got to you as fast as I could. You were already unconscious when I found you. Luckily there was a boat passing by."

" But... how were you so fast ?"

" I used to be a volunteer lifeguard. It was a part of my job. The doctors said you must have been without oxygen for minutes. Damn Y/N... how could you put yourself into so much danger just for a wedding ring ? You must be insane."

" We set that rule that the first one of us who ever happens to lose the ring has to treat the other person to ice cream for a lifetime... Maybe that was the reason."

" You almost died, and you still can't stay serious ? I don't even know why you're bringing this up now. And who even told you that ?"

" ...... no one.", you said confusedly. "I guess I..."

" You....... remembered."

You looked at him.

" The ring stands for my promise. You gave it to me. I know I made a mistake that should never have happened. I hurt you so much. So how could I ever lose the promise I gave you ? I lost it, Xiumin."

" Do you mean this one ?"

He opened his hand and your ring appeared. You covered your mouth in surprise.

" I managed to save it too. They pretty much thought I was insane because I was diving for that bag, but...-"

" I love you."

He looked at you.

" I truly love you, Xiumin. I love you so much."

It was the first time you told him since you had lost your memories. He smiled at you warmly.

" I know, Y/N."

He shifted a little nearer to you.

" Even if you lost the ring. I wouldn't be a good husband either, if I would punish you forever, because of one mistake. One single mistake you made in all the time we have been married."

You knew he wasn't talking about the ring.

" I wanted to get our old life back, and maybe I got so carried away that I ignored all the facts. We can't just pretend that the accident didn't happen. I think we both have a lot of things we need to think about. Things that will need time.", he said.

You took his hand with the ring in your hands.

" I know. And that's why I need you to keep this for me, Xiumin. I was so in love with the idea of being your wife. I still am. You keep finding me. Even in the middle of the ocean. But it's time that I find myself now. What I did before the accident, the fact that I was willing to hurt you this much, made me think about how little I know myself. I need to find out what's important to me. I need to remember my life until I know who I am again. The adult me. It could take some time... maybe a lot of time. But I will definitely remember. And if you still want to be my husband by then, then I will be your wife. There will be no secrets. Except for days when you ask me if you look too fat in something and I will tell you you don't."

That made him smile. He took his wedding ring off and put it on your palm, closing your hand around it.

"No matter if as my wife, or a friend, or a stranger. You will always be my best friend. And the mother of my children. So please take good care of this, so that I can come for it."

" I'm a little scared. I'm scared that I won't be the same person that fell in love with you. What if I don't find the way back to you ?"

" This could happen. Or it could not happen. That's the way the cookie crumbles, my sweet Y/N. But it's also just fair. I came to find you again and again. So if you remember the way back, when the time comes... please come and find me. Okay ?"

You nodded.

" Okay."

The doctors called it a miracle. Somehow the incident seemed to have triggered something in your brain that made your memories start to come back. It wasn't all easy. Getting your own apartment, starting to work again and taking care of your children if they weren't at their father's place. Sometimes your head hurt from trails of the past that kept appearing in your mind. Sometimes you were really confused. Sometimes you cried. But once in a few days you remembered something new. You wrote it all down. One diary became a whole pile. And One pile of diaries became a whole shelf. You put the pieces of your life together as if it was a puzzle game, filling more and more gaps. And you felt yourself slowly shift from the sixteen-year old you to the person you were right now. You celebrated the kids' birthdays. You all went to Su Jeong's and Jongin's wedding. You and Luhan began to work together again and even Xiumin was feeling more comfortable around him, not least because he was one of the reasons why he had come to save you. You and Xiumin gained your own experiences. You had boyfriends and he had girlfriends. You were mostly happy. But you never felt like you had completely arrived somewhere, and sometimes you wondered if it was the same for him. You had stopped talking about the promise you had given each other a long time ago. And meanwhile you had become too adult to believe that both of you would keep it. Maybe it had just been a nice way to say goodbye. You were still good parents and worked well as a family. Simple and uncomplicated. You knew that Xiumin had moved on. Maybe some people were just supposed to spend a certain time span of their life together, before their ways peacefully separated. And you realized that the most important thing was having him in your life. And that was okay.

It would always be okay.