Bruises | l.mh

07

//yena

I'M NOT ABLE TO avoid my mother when I get home from detention.

She's sitting on the couch, a small glass of clear liquid in her hand. She turns her head toward me when I come in.

"Detention again?" She asks in a calm voice. "Or were you somewhere else this time?"

I pocket my keys and stay by the front door. "It was detention."

"And do you have homework?"

"I couldn't finish it all," I explain. "It's the weekend so they gave us a lot of homework and I still—"

My mother holds her hand up so I shut up. She stands up and takes a few steps toward me. She sets her glass down on the coffee table and walks over to me.

She gets really close to my face with her own. She's so close I can smell the alcohol on her breath.

My heart is pounding so hard against my chest, I'm afraid it's going to rip through. I'm trying to prepare myself so I don't flinch very much, clenching my fists at my sides.

"Go do your homework," she whispers.

I quickly nod before stepping around her and going into my bedroom.

Sometimes it's worse when she doesn't hit me and just scares me. I'm always just so scared. Of her. Sometimes I wish she'd just get it over with.

I set my backpack down and sit on my bed, looking down at my hands.

After a few moments of collecting myself, I change into leggings and a sweater before sitting at my desk. I pull up my computer and plug my earbuds in as I'm pulling up a TV show.

My homework sits unfinished in my backpack, but I have all weekend to do it. I don't need to do it right now. My mother doesn't understand that.

As I'm watching my TV show, my mind wanders. I don't feel like sitting in my room, doing nothing. I feel like getting out and going somewhere.

But I can't. My mother probably wouldn't let me, unless it was for a really good reason. And if I snuck out, I can't imagine what my mother would do.

Maybe I should just do my homework. I can get it over with and won't have to worry about it over the weekend.

But, if I do my homework, I won't be sent to detention. And I probably won't see Minho.

What? That's the dumbest reason to get detention.

Besides, Minho might visit me Monday morning anyway, so I can help him with the makeup stuff.

I shouldn't think that, though. I doubt he'll come see me Monday. He doesn't seem like the type of person who would.

<<<

JI-SUB INVITES ME TO eat dinner, but I decline. They ordered some rice dishes from a delivery service and I don't feel like eating with them. If there's leftovers, I'll eat them after my mother and Ji-sub go to bed.

I sit in my room, bored, wishing to be somewhere else.

There's nothing I really want to do. I don't want to sit here. I don't want to read. I don't want to do homework. I don't want to watch TV shows. But I don't really know what I want to do.

Suddenly, I get an idea.

I quickly gather all my dirty clothes into a large bag. I take a deep breath before walking out to the living area.

My mother and Ji-sub are on the couch, watching TV. They look over at me as I come into the living area.

"I was gonna go do laundry," I inform. "Would you like me to take yours?"

"You know where it is," my mother responds.

I go into my mother and Ji-sub's room. I take their dirty clothes from their closet and stuff it into the bag filled with my clothes. I carry the bag with me as I move past my mother and Ji-sub, out of the house.

There's a small laundry place next to our apartment building. My mother always makes me do everyone's laundry, so I'm used to coming here.

I walk into the building and immediately feel the heat inside. There's a woman near the back, reading while waiting for her laundry.

Paying attention to myself only, I find a couple machines on the opposite side the woman is on and begin sorting the laundry on a small table. I put light colors in one machine and dark colors in another. Then I sit on the small bench in front of the machines to wait for the clothes to wash.

I get my phone out as I'm waiting, but I can't pay attention to any social media or apps of videos.

Why does Minho have a bruise he wants to hide?

That's the thing I've been wondering every since I saw him in the convenience store. It's on the left side of his jaw, which gives me the indication that maybe he got it from a fight or something.

But if that's true, why'd he get into a fight?

It's not really surprising. He seems like the kind of guy who would get into fights, but I just don't know why.

Should I even care?

My whole life, I've basically been alone. I've never really had any friends, because that would mean they would want to come over at some point, and I wouldn't want anyone to see my mother and how she is at home. I wouldn't want anyone to witness anything that happens in my house.

If she had said or done anything in front of someone else, who knows what they would have done? If they had told someone...

I just didn't want to risk it. And I still don't.

Even if they hadn't wanted to come over, I just couldn't do it. They'd eventually want to know about my life, my parents, my home. They'd become curious about me, as friends usually do. They would find my bruises at some point, peeking in at me while I'm changing into my pajamas over at their house or something. And then they'd ask questions and I'd lie and lie and lie until I couldn't lie anymore. And I could never tell someone what my mother does to me. I just couldn't.

So, I just need to finish high school without getting close to anyone. Then I can make friends once I'm out of the house.

It's the only plan I've got.