rants ; chanlix

t w e n t y t w o

chan sat by his window sil, cigarette in his bruised hand with tears running down his face. he heard a knock at his front door and put out the cancer stick. he walked to the door and opened it with the little energy he had in him.

"jisung what are you doing here?" chan asked, his voice hoarse from crying.

"felix wont leave his bed, he misses you." jisung said, looking at his hands nervously.

"he told me he never wants to see me again." chan mumbled, leaning on the door frame.

"he never wants to see that side of you again, chan, felix loves you more than anything. i havent seen him more open and happy than he has been the past few months that hes been with you. chan please just go see him." jisung begged and chan sighed.

"yeah, okay." chan grabbed his shoes and car keys.

"i didnt mean now but okay." jisung chuckled and chan gave him a slight smile.

"thank you jisung."

chan drove to felixs house and knocked on the door.

felixs mom answered.

"oh, chan hi. um, f-felix isnt home right now?" she was a terrible liar.

"mrs lee, please can i just go up and talk to him?" chan pleaded and she sighed, opening the door fully to let him in.

"oh sweetie, you need to wrap that." she said when she saw his knuckles.

"im not really worried about that right now." chan replied and walked upstairs, he knocked on felixs door.

"come in." felix mumbled, chan opened the door and saw felix wrapped in blankets with a pile of tissues next to him. mascara streaming down his face as he scrolled through instagram.

"ch-chan?" felix was surprised to see the older.

"hi." chan mumbled and felix started to bawl. "baby, im so sorry." chan started to cry and felix scooted over so chan could sit next to him.

"im so insanely sorry, i should never have reacted like that. its just that when i saw him, standing over you and calling you all those names. i-i lost it, i lashed out and handled it irrationally. i promise i will never ever do anything like that again. i love you so fucking much." chan apologized and felix wrapped his arms around him burying his face in his chest.

"i-i love you." felix hiccuped.

they sat like that for the rest of the night, just holding each other.