A Match Made in Hell - A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

2. The Difference Between Love & Lust

"We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts even if they don't stay in our lives." - Ronald Oliver

Before I could fathom what I was even doing, I grabbed him by his shirt collar and kissed him; not roughly, not passionately, just a simple kiss. I knew what I was getting myself into. Dallas can't resist himself half of the time and likes to get maybe a little too carried away.

Suddenly he pulled away and grabbed my shoulders, and looked at me with such confusion that I could barely take in, as I was confused with myself as well. Wasn't I just breaking up with him a second ago?

"Alicia...?" He questioned, raising an uncertain brow. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I didn't even know why I did that. I was just caught up in the moment, that's all. That definitely was all.
"I-I don't know, I mean, I love you, I do. I just can't... I can't." I say, tears starting to cloud my vision. He moved his hands from my shoulders to my waist and pulled me into him. The feeling is comforting, usual. It's not dangerous, it's not harmful. Just comfortable.

The feeling of his warm skin against my cheek is enough for me to realize that no matter how hard I try, I'll never get over this boy. I'll never be able to find someone who would wake me up in the morning by drowning me in kisses and smiles. Who always puts me first, no matter what the situation is. Who treats me like the most important person in the world who deserves all respect and honor.

I won't ever find a boy who has loved me with his entire heart and soul, who has consumed all parts of my heart, and who will never think twice about how he feels about me. I had this, I have it right now, and why should I be one to give that up? Sure, he isn't the most trustworthy, but no one isn't. We all have our faults, and he definitely is one of them, but I don't regret it, not at all.
"It's fine, hon," He whispers into my ear, his warm breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine.

"You're strong, you'll know what to do, so don't worry bout' nothin."

I look up at him with glazed eyes, and his are fixed upon something ahead.

"It really ain't that simple Dal," I whisper into his chest.

"Why ain't it?"

"When you love someone so much, you can't just forget and leave everything behind. They're still there, in your memory. Nothing's ever gonna fade away." I say, burying my face into his leather jacket. His sweat and cologne spread throughout my lungs, and it was a scent a was familiar with. It was comforting. It reminded me of home.

Everything about him was comfortable and peaceful, which is odd, because he was anything but peaceful. He was a reckless boy, didn't give a damn about anyone or anything unless it served good meaning to him. He wasn't selfish either, though. When he cared about somebody, he cared about them deeply. It was almost dangerous for him to care about someone or something so deeply. It destroys him on the inside, and it's because he let his walls down. He let people inside that he could trust, and if they ever hurt him, they would be dead to him.

"Then why're you leaving?" He asks, almost a whisper. I could hear the pain in his voice that he was trying to hide. He knew better than to try and hide anything from me, as I always figure it out. Technically, that's why we're in the position we are in now.

"Even if I do, that doesn't change how I feel bout' you Dal. It's just what's best for us-"

"You don't know what's best for me."

"But I know that I'm not."

Silence.

"You don't know that either."

I pull away from him and shake my head.

"What I mean, is that you're not good for me." I state, avoiding his eyes as much as possible.

I heard his shallow breath hovering above me, and I was actually scared of him right then.

"How can one person love someone so damn much and the other doesn't feel anything... how's that fucking possible?" He barely manages to choke out the words, and it makes me feel horrible. All I can say was,

"I'm sorry."

He lets go of my hands that were cocooned in his and leaves them to drop to my side.

"No, you're not, LiLi."

I start to say something, but he puts a hand to my mouth to stop me.

"Stop. You don't gotta say no more alright? I get it. I'll go if that's what you want so bad. I know when I'm not wanted..." He says, and with that and a slight smirk, he turns and walks down the alley, lighting a cigarette and flicking the match onto the concrete.

Dally's POV

I just lost the person I love the most. The one person that I thought would never hurt me, hurt me the most. Hell, I deserved it, didn't I? I shoulda treated her right, and I didn't. I didn't, and how come? Why was it so hard to make sure the person I loved felt loved?

I just wasn't capable of loving someone. It's because I've been so betrayed and hurt. I don't know what's so wrong with me that people always want to leave, but I'm used to it by now.

I feel empty. She's left me with nothing but a broken heart. That was my fault though, I shouldn't have ever let her in. You can never trust anyone, words are deceiving and they can make you believe things that aren't even close to bein' the truth. That's just the way it is. That's life, and there is nothing you can do bout' it. You just gotta keep moving forward and deal with it. You get tough, and nothing can touch you. Nothing can touch you, man.

*AN: sorry for the shorter chapter, but I didn't really have any inspiration or motivation and I've been busy.

Thanks for understanding.
Love. 💛*