"Okay, Chanmin. It's no big deal. You're just tutoring him. That's it. It happens all the time, people tutor each other all the time. It's totally natural. Yep. Totally. It happens in all the dramas and the guy always falls for the girl during this period of time. What? No! That's not true! I mean it is, though, but it isn't, but like it is?"
The conservation has been going back and forth for an entire hour.
And it's with yourself.
You've been sitting on the roof debating the pros and cons of tutoring Jeon Jungkook, going back and forth continuously for ages. If you went, you'd have to deal with Jungkook, if you didn't go, you'd have to deal with your dad. So you were basically stuck in a lose-lose situation.
"Aish! Why am I the one in a drama?"
You scream out to no one in particular. Your voice rings and bounces of the walls, echoing in the distance. The silence of the infuriatingly blue sky is not helping your mood.
Just before you can scream again, the bell does it for, its monotonous and shrill voice rings throughout the entire school and you can almost feel the wall vibrate behind you because of it.
You groan and step up and jump of the building.
Now normally this wouldn't be advised but then again you weren't exactly normal so it shouldn't have been a problem.
Shouldn't have been.
A lot of things 'shouldn't have been.' But you landing on Jeon Jungkook definitely took the top spot. You weren't even sure how it happened. You were just diving through through air one moment, feeling the breeze and wind rush through your hair and whistle in your ears, gently but quickly carrying you downwards. The ground below was clear indicating the perfect landing, until it wasn't. A familiar head full of black hair appeared beneath and before you could even fathom how he got there you were on top of him.
"Ow..", you groan and struggle o get up and resort to just rolling over to the side.
"Chanmin?", he exclaims, his voice a mixture of emotions you really don't want to interpret.
He gets to his feet and dusts himself off before beginning to walk away, not uttering a single word after. Somehow, this makes your heart hurt. Like really, really hurt. You're not sure why, maybe you're diabetic. Maybe that's why your hearts been hurting so much...
If you're diabetic than you should start exercising more.
The thought of involving yourself in any kind of activity requiring physical exertion makes you snort.
You're just about to walk away too when you're reminded of the situation you were in and the fact that the boy who was walking away was the same boy you would be needing to tutor in a couple hours or maybe even less.
Shouldn't you have called him?
Should and shouldn't.
So many thing things should and so many things shouldn't.
Which one did Jeon Jungkook come under?
It takes a while but you hear someone call out to you. You turn around and see a girl that was certainly not there before. She has a round heart-shaped face, freckles sprayed across her nose and cheeks, soft brown eyes and hair the colour of chestnuts. She's taller than you (It was hard not to be taller than someone who was exactly 5 feet tall.) and is looking at you, concerned and worried.
It takes a while but you see her lips moving and a faint voice escaping them.
"Hey, you alright?", her words are heavily accented.
You blink and realise that you're still lying on the floor of the school, in the middle of the pathway. People are passing by you, whispering and muttering as their eyes meet yours.
You stand up with a start and immediately take off down the path, your hands already pulling your hood low over your head.
You leave behind a very confused couple of girls and run straight, letting the path control your direction.
After it looks like you've escaped the people you begin slowing down and look up at the building ahead of you.
You walk in and find the hallway surprisingly empty considering the fact that there are several groups of students outside.
You sigh and walk down the hallway listening to your footsteps echo against the floor until a voice makes you halt.
"Min."
You freeze. The tone is stern and firm and annoyingly familiar.
You slowly turn around and wince at the sight of the orange headed male in front of you.
"Don't you have a class or something?"
You let out a nervous chuckle.
"Hey, Chim..."
"Don't 'hey Chim' me, why aren't you in class?"
"Umm...my..goldfish called?"
You facepalm mentally so hard that you can almost feel the sting on your forehead. Lying was not your thing.
"You don't have a goldfish. Are you bunking?", Jimin asks, his voice dangerously low. His tone implying a lot of things that would be better left unsaid. You were really in for it now.
"Maybe?"
"LEE CHANMI-", he begins to scream but you slam your hand over his mouth to shut him up.
"Shh! If you start screaming then we'll both be caught!", you whisper-yell.
His eyebrows are still fixed in a scowl and his eyes are dangerously dark but he nods.
You cautiously lift your hand away.
"LEE CHANMIN YOU BETTER PRAY THAT THERE IS A GOD UP THERE BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I AM ABOUT TO SMACK-"
You wince at the sheer volume of his rage before clamping your hands on your ears and shutting your eyes.
You can still hear his voice through your shut ears and although it's a bit muffled now, there's a lot of things being yelled that you wish you couldn't hear.
After a while his voice dies down and he goes silent. You open one and peek up at him and see him, his mouth shut but his eyes are still shooting daggers.
You wearily lift your hands from your poor, poor ears that have been exposed to such undeserving profanity.
You say the first thing on your mind in a mad attempt to calm Jimin down.
"I'm sorry, hyung. I shouldn't be bunking."
"Min, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on."
You blink, confused by his words, confused at the sudden hurt that is now laced with his voice.
"Chim, what-"
"Oh, don't act like I haven't noticed. Don't act like I haven't noticed the fact that you come home with new bruises everywhere, like I don't notice the fact that the last time I saw you sleep properly was over a month ago, like I don't notice the fact that there are people in this school who are making you hurt, like I don't notice the fact that you barely eat-", his voice cracks with emotion and tears begin pooling in his eyes.
Your heart begins crumbling all over again.
"Chim, I-"
"Don't act like I haven't noticed all the nights you spent crying..don't act...like..like I didn't notice...all the..times...all the times you were...were being hurt..."
Your eyes begin to pool up too.
"I'm so sorry..", you whisper.
"I'm so sorry..I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...", you whisper that again and again and again.
Saying it over and over like it's the only thing keeping you sane.
You say it so many times like it's a lifeline your holding on to.
"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..."
Eventually your knees give out, the same time as Jimins causing you both to crash to the floor in these piles of tears.
He holds his arms open and you fall into them without protest, letting the familiar warmth of your best friend embrace you again.
Strangely you feel better now. It's like even though you haven't said anything, you didn't need to. All the secrets and pain you'd been hiding just came flooding out through your tears. No more words were spoken and none were needed.
For a while it was quiet other than the occasionally sobs that would ring from both of you.
It may not have been much to anyone else but the fifteen minutes you had both spent crying was enough for the years of pain you'll had been hiding.
Finally after inhaling his warmth you whisper one last time.
"I'm so sorry."
A/N
Ik this is a BLECH chapter but I'm so sry. My updating schedule is being a bit hindered due to the fact I'm going through a small rough patch emotionally. I promise I'll try getting over it soon and will be back with an actual proper chapter next time.
Until then I'm sorry and I purple you all so much.
💜💜💜
