An Idiot's Guide to Not Falling in Love with Your Best Friend's Girlfriend

Lesson 2: When you're attracted to her, stop it.

"Luke? Luke? Are you OK?" Someone whispered as they shook my shoulder gently.

"I'll be OK as soon as you fuck off," I grumbled sleepily. I was incredibly hungover and in no mood to deal with anyone at the moment.

"Get your ass off the counter and up to bed to sleep off your hangover. It's 10AM and some of us want to begin our day."

A hard shove and I opened my eyes to greet those belonging to the voice I had been listening to. Instantly regretting my choice of words, I sat up and removed myself from the counter.

"I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off, I didn't realize you weren't one of the guys."

"Oh yeah? The guys have feminine voices then?"

She rounded the counter and pulled a pill bottle from the cabinet and filled a glass with water.

"Tylenol and water to help with that hangover," she stood in front of me now, handing over the items, "good morning Luke."

"Good morning Mae."

Her hair was tied in a messy bun on top her head. She wore a shirt of Calum's, sweatpants and the remnants of last night's makeup. I couldn't imagine how Cal had managed to reel this one in. She was certainly no average catch.

"Why haven't we met before? You and Cal have been together for a while right?"

"It's been eight months, and we've never met because you never around. It might have something to do with the world famous musician thing though." She winked and I felt a twitch somewhere within me. It was time to abort mission and get the hell out of there.

"Maybe. Well, thank you for the drugs, Mae. My plan is to sleep the rest of the day so I guess I'll see you when I see you."

Without giving her a chance to respond, I left the kitchen and headed for my own room. Seconds after falling into bed, my door opened and Calum appeared.

"So?"

"So."

"What do you think of Mae?"

"She's hot."

"Well yeah, obviously, but anything else? She's nice right? And funny?"

"Sure Cal, she's a dime. Get out."

"Don't call her a dime. Luke, this is important. She could be the one."

"Shut up dude. You go through women faster than Michael goes through hair colors. Go buy that ring Casanova, make sure the rock is enormous."

I pulled my pillow over my face, not wanting to listen to Cal talk about how the most attractive girl he's ever dated just happens to be 'the one.' No coincidence there. Shallow fucker.

"You're such an asshole, and to think I was going to ask you to be my best man." He punched my shoulder and laughed. "Enjoy that hangover, man."

I struggled to find sleep again. My thoughts kept drifting back to the parts of the previous night that I was still able to remember: that dress hugging Mae in all of the right places. Her large, innocent bedroom eyes and the shape of her long, toned legs. I felt bad, but couldn't manage to shake the images.

***

Afternoon sun poured into the room, blinding me the moment I opened my eyes. Grabbing my phone, I saw a slew of texts, a couple of Facebook notifications and that the time was currently 3:41 PM. I opened the notifications and saw that one was a friend request from Mae.

I accepted and then opened her profile to do a bit of creeping. Her profile photo was of her and another girl, presumably a family member because they looked similar. Her cover photo was one of her and Calum. It looked like it was taken in our backyard. His arms were wrapped around her as he placed a kiss on her cheek. Her face was twisted into a happy smile. It was unfortunate that she and Cal would never last because her smile was quite nice.

It was nearing evening and the boys (and Mae) had made the decision that we were going out to dinner. There was a small diner several blocks from our place, so we decided to walk.

"You're not going to pull some Yoko Ono bullshit on us, are you?" Michael asked Mae, causing me to laugh in amusement.

"No," she said calmly, "my plan was to get really with close with all of you and when you got filthy rich, I was just going to off everyone and take the money and run."

"Not a bad plan, except now you've told us," Ashton chimed in.

"What?" My turn to speak approaching, "that's a terrible plan. You'll be wanted for murder. It's not even worth it."

"Depends on the amount of money," she cheerfully responded and grabbed Calum's hand. The walk continued in silence and I watched her body from behind until Ashton slapped the back of my head.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I removed it to read the message, which was from Ashton.

"Be careful Lukey. I told you this one is different and I know exactly what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking her perfect ass is directly in my line of vision and because of that, I'm obligated to look."

"You're obligated not to go after your best friend's girlfriend. Don't do this dude."

"I'm literally not doing anything. I've said ten words to the girl."

"OK, fine, whatever you say man."

Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I shot him a glare. I wasn't going to let physical attraction wasn't going to ruin a relationship, a band, and a friendship.