DJ PAULY D (SMUT)

After smoking the fattest of blunts, DJ Pauly D and I find our way to the dining table. Using his fire track, we light the two candles which begin to drip - I giggle very slightly and blush. I can see it in his eyes that the candles will serve as more than just light when we eventually end up in the bedroom.

DJ Pauly D gives me the eyes and rings the little silver bell. The maid with no name comes out with a silver platter and sets it before me. She lifts the chrome dome in which I catch my flustered reflection.

"Everything alright ma'am?" the maid asks me. I nod, trying to hide my blush with my hair. I can feel DJ Pauly D's eyes on me. On my plate is a mound of what appears to be spices of all sorts. I gasp.

"Your palette is one of a kind, my precious," says DJ Pauly D. He gets up from his seat and makes the long journey to the other end of the table. He puts his hands on my shoulders and whispers into my ear: "Enjoy". His cheek grazes mine and on mine I can feel some grease residue that's dribbled down from his hair that he always keeps oh so slick.

Spices. Oh, spices. The nameless servant gives me a soup spoon and once DJ Pauly D has taken his seat once more and given his own mound, we dig in. I wash down each dry spoonful with some Busch. This combination must be an aphrodisiac, I think to myself. My heart races as I get to the bottom of the plate. Each grain of mixed paprika, salt, cinnamon, cayenne and thyme hits the back of my throat like a mistro hitting his baton on the stand before his orchestra. Hitting the lining of my stomach, it growls the perfect symphony.

I look over to the love of my life, DJ Pauly D who is licking his plate and I bite my lip seductively. His skin, so leathery and moist with tanning oil... It gets a girl going. He finishes his can with a hearty chug and burps so powerfully I can smell the rosemary from all the way across the table.

DJ Pauly D rings the bell once more with a wink that lets me know what's coming next. He stands up, letting the nameless maid clear the table. I can see that his bulge is bigger than the mushroom cloud after Hiroshima. My heart skips a beat.

I stand and meet him in the middle. He has grabbed the two candles that have pools of clear wax now. DJ Pauly D gets so close that I can smell his lust.

"Ok Baby," he says and I giggle slightly. "Now let me show you why I put the D in DJ Pauly D."