CALL BY 8

how.

NEW RECORDING FROM J I M I N (1)
LISTEN? 3:32 A.M.
[YES] NO

"lila, i just had to call you. i know it's late and i know you're asleep by now, but i had the most terrifying dream and now i'm unable to sleep." jimin's voice shivers. he sighs.

she can hear his heart break as he begins the drama,

"i was walking alone to the diner, late at night. as i entered, the door chiming, i saw you. you were sitting at a nearby booth with company. the company was a man and goddamn it, he was handsome. your eyes flickered to mine and you smiled. it was mischievous and daring. you've never been like that, lila."

he's right. she's not like that.

"your hands were pressed to his cheeks and you kissed his lips lightly. it disgusted me. i wanted to vomit. is that selfish? i don't really care, it was just revolting. it scared the living hell out of me... the idea of you finding someone that makes you as happy as you make me."

0:14 seconds of silence. labored breathing.

she grimaces. jimin's silence used to be comfortable and easy, but now it leaves her rigid.

"tell me, lila... just tell me. is there someone else?"

she wishes she could say yes.

"because if so... just let me know. i don't want to bother you. i don't want to mess up something you deserve. li, you deserve the utmost happiness and my biggest regret was my inability to grant it."

he holds back a cry. he lets out a frustrated grunt.

"i'm sorry, lila! okay? i'm so fucking sorry and i can't take anything back, i know it! i'm trying, okay? i'm trying to let you go! why is my heart biting me in the ass now? it was so goddamn easy to push you away- i was scared of love. i was scared of your love! you're so goddamn brave and i'm so goddamn scared. i want to hold your hand, lila, i want to kiss your head, lila, i want to make you pancakes in the morning, i just want it all back..."

tears. lots of them. from both ends of the phone.

lila shudders. she doesn't want these voicemails to stop. she's been holding on to jimin in ways she would never admit, not even to herself- let alone to him. she wants those kisses, she wants those long nights, she does,

she does.

but how do you let someone back into your heart that was so quick to leave in a time you needed them most?

and how can jimin waltz into her life unannounced, leaving her unprepared, leaving her just as scared as him? she doesn't know what to do. she doesn't have all the answers and god, she wishes she did.

but she does have these lonely voicemails, this piece of jimin, vulnerable jimin, that she's craved so long to hear from.

and for now that's enough.