--
Hyung,
I ve been trying for so long.
I've been trying to hold myself together, trying to stay positive and not completely break down every morning when I wake up in a cold, empty bed alone, but it's so, so hard.
Is this how you felt?
Defeated, hopeless, exhausted.
Like you don't want to live anymore?
Don't worry, I won't off myself anytime soon.
The members don't deserve to go through that again.
They can't lose us both.
As selfish as I am, I can't let myslef do that to them.
I don't want them to feel like I do.
They're already teetering on the edge of a cliff, one more push and they'll fall.
They deserve so much more than someone like me.
You did, too.
You deserved someone who could help you, someone who could be there for you and reach out a hand when you felt unbalanced on that cliff, but instead, you got stuck with someone like me.
Someone who watched as you got closer to the edge, someone who thought you would realise how unstable the ground was and ask for help.
You didn't.
By the time I realised how much you were struggling in that cliff, you were already plummeting towards the ground.
I was too late. Too slow. Too oblivious.
Not good enough.
In my desperate attempt to save you, I didn't realise quite how close to the edge of the cliff I had gotten.
I'm hanging on with one hand, but it's slipping.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this without you.
--
YOU ARE READING
Gone || JeongChan
Fanfic-- Hyung, I don't think I can do this anymore. Not without you. -- - COMPLETED - Yang Jeongin + bang Chan. Short story. Includes very triggering topics including suicide and self harm.
