The Prospect's Dance (Book 1, Land of Sweets)

7: Waltz of the Snowflakes (3 of 3)

I am in a palace.

Well, not a palace, but it sure feels like it. As much as I want to go home, I also don't want to go home, not the more I see. Can I hold it against Rat? Or Dannick, should I say? It is a more fitting name for him than Rat, but he seems almost sad when someone says it.

I have a naturally adverse reaction to being all but tranquilized with some magic date rape drug and taken into a foreign country, granted. But Rat...He's right. Does anyone care that I'm gone? What would have happened if instead of kidnapping me, Rat came to my house and chopped me into pieces in my kitchen? It would be a week before they found me. It would only be because the neighbors complained of the smell.

But that's the worst part—I was on the cusp of a change! I had the Cincinnati Ballet and a coffee date with Bradley, and they could work out, they really could. The thing is, now I have this secret. I've been to a magical world and no one else I know has, and I can never tell them, and I can never let them find out. I am more isolated than ever. I mean, what will I say to Bradley on our coffee date? "What have you been doing lately?" he'll ask, and I'll say, "Oh, you know. Sleeping in gingerbread houses and crystal palaces. The usual."

But you know what? I can't blame Rat anymore. He gave me a choice when he was forced against the wall. The fact that he did it solely because he had to doesn't exonerate him completely, but I was the one who ultimately chose to stay with this madman.

He doesn't look like a madman when he's sleeping. I'm laying on my stomach on the bed upstairs, holding one of those coffee beans between my thumb and finger as I observe him through the floor below. He's curled up in one corner of the couch like a teeny squirrel, his body nearly defying the laws of physics to pull him into a ball so tight. It could be because he's cold, but that's unlikely. His face—what I can see of it—is relaxed. He has a really elegant nose. I hate his nose. He's always scrunching it up at me, usually after I catch him staring at me, as if to make sure I am fully aware of how disgusting he finds me...and he must be morbidly fascinated, because he does it all the time. When he scrunches his nose like that, he doesn't bring to mind a rat, but a mouse, a cute little mouse. And that's not fair.

I don't hate him anymore. I don't trust him, but he's not malicious. Incredibly unbalanced? Maybe. My enemy? Definitely. But I don't hate him, and I don't want to call him Rat just because everybody else here does. Casimir called him Dannick, and he didn't act upset, but I bet he'd be upset if I called him that. I will continue to call him Rat out loud, but I will call him Dannick in my journal and my head.

In a few short hours, we will set out again, leaving the Narthex behind to come into the city in the Land of Sweets. I don't know what that means, but I can tell Dannick is nervous. I guess I am, too, but it's hard to work up the proper amount of dread for a threat you know nothing about.

Although I wouldn't say I know nothing. I found this book on the bedside table. If this is a guest house for Prospects coming into the Land of Sweets, I assume it's meant for me to read if I want. I'm probably not supposed to take it with me, though. But you know, I'm probably not supposed to take pens from hotel rooms, either...

Anyway. I didn't get far into the book, but it's called A History of the Land of Sweets, and I skimmed the first chapter. It's about the Sugar Plum Fairy and the beginning of the Land of Sweets. Apparently, when the Sugar Plum Fairy came here, the magic was raw and untamed, and only a handful of rag-tag, barely civilized people lived here. They had wandered into this undefined magical boundary and become trapped, isolated from civilization, primitive. When the Sugar Plum Fairy arrived, beautiful and cultured, the people living there thought her akin to a god. She was still traumatized by the horrors of the mortal world and was at first hesitant, but the people followed her with worshipful awe, and she began to see that she could help them. She could help them craft a civilization free of her world's errors, for without her help, surely they would fall to the bloodshed that has plagued civilization throughout history. She had seen the evils and torment, knew how awful it was, knew that protecting these innocent, backward people was the only way for them to live blissful lives.

I know history is biased, but she doesn't sound so bad in this book. Good intentions and all. But there's a saying about good intentions. I can't remember it now, which sucks because now is when I need it. But more is going on here. I haven't finished the book, I know. This woman came here how? From where? When? What traumas did she see? And what made her turn this place into a land of dancing and candy? How was this the way to ensure blissful lives? Why kidnap people into this place? And does she think she's helping me by having Dannick drag me away?

I know he would despise me (more than he already does) if I were ever to compare him to the Queen. But they are the same. He told me he chose me as his Prospect because no one would miss me. Like he's saving me from a lonely existence, as if this trip to Wonderland is a drug that can help me forget my life until it's time to go back for my audition. He thinks he's doing good. I can see it in his eyes when he thinks I'm not watching him. But I'm always watching him.

How is this different from the Queen who wants to protect her subjects from the pain in their lives? I doubt Dannick would take kindly to such questions.

**********

When darkness falls in a land of snow, the lights dim in the houses and the people sleeping, is the air hushed and heavy? How still does it sound? I do not know, of course, how it sounds when I am sleeping. Not consciously. But surely my subconscious mind must know the splendor of a silent night, for I can hear it in my sleep. I know this is true, that sound reaches our ears and affects our minds even while we are unconscious; I read it in a mortal science journal. And I have dreamed of nights more filled with fragile veneration than a child's prayer—this sense of peace must come from someplace beautiful. I know my tainted soul isn't beautiful enough to conjure such a thing. Yes, I know about night's magic. Yet I taint it with dreams.

It begins tonight with a sound like the flutter of pages. It is surely just a sensation pulled from my memory, but the scent of ink and old books rises, and I toss and turn.

In my mind, I see the hundreds of pages that comprise the Codes of Perfection. The laws, the constitution of our land. The foundations of government, written by the Queen. They are meant to make our world a paragon, a shining city on a hill. But as I peer at those white pages, at the words in black ink...

Recognition floods me. Men. They're men. Each letter is in fact a man bent in tortuous poses, one after another, lined up to spill words across the page. I cannot fathom why the Queen has allowed these black ink men to mar the page's whiteness. Then again, without these markings, the page would be meaningless. It would have nothing to say.

The pages morph before my eyes and instead become a dry retelling of a rebellion. My rebellion. The pages morph again, and I am reading not pages, but my bare torso, and the words are not ink, but my scars. The story of the Land of Sweets is written on my skin.

I wake in a cold sweat and consider what it means. But I am not Joseph; my coat hasn't many colors, only the ashen hue of a rat, and unlike Joseph, I cannot interpret dreams. Sometimes I doubt anyone can. Dreams are meaningless. They are weird and stupid. I briefly lift my eyes to the room where Claire lies and then go back to sleep.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, please consider voting or leaving a comment. Also, if you have any thoughts in regards to the questions posted at the beginning of the book, I'd love to hear them. (To recap, the questions were: 1.) Accuracy in ballet terms, etc.; 2.) Smooth word flow and does it make sense; 3.) Any boring places?

Thanks!