It had been exactly a year since Augustus Waters died. A difficult year for me as my condition got worse. I couldn't breathe properly even with Phillip or my BiPap. Every night I'd have a terrible headache, I'd wake up breathless and on some days, I just pass out. I know I should stay home and rest, but I can't. I have to visit him, I have to. As I went downstairs, I saw my mom in the kitchen preparing lunch.
"Mom" I said. "Can we please visit Augustus today?"
She momentarily stopped what she was doing and said "Sure, Hazel. Shall we go there after lunch?"
"No, mom. Can we please go right now?" I said.
"Alright, honey. I'll just tell your dad to get ready."
She went to the living room to talk to my dad. And a few moments later, we were on our way to Crown Hill Cemetery. When we arrived, I told my parents to stay in the car while I talk to Gus. The moment I reached Augustus's grave, I immediately placed a bouquet of orange tulips on his grave.
"Hi, Gus. I brought you these bright orange tulips, just like the ones you gave me on the day you told me about Amsterdam. I miss you. You're clearly missing out on a lot of stuff. Isaac is doing great! He finally found a girlfriend who would love him for the way he is. And as for me, the complete opposite. Phalanxifor isn't helping anymore, the doctors said they're working on a new treatment but I figured I'd be long gone by the time they finish-" I was cut off by my mom who was still in the car with dad. "Hazel, honey! I still have work to do, shall we leave you here and pick you up later?" She said.
"No, mom. I'm almost done talking to Gus" I said, which is true. I turned my attention back to Gus and continued what I was going to say. I told him all about the stuff that happened since I last visited him. About the new and "improved" support group, about my year in college and of course, about me constantly checking his wall page and calling his phone whenever I miss him, even though I know it'll just direct me straight into voicemail. "I miss your voice," I said. "That's why I kept on calling your phone, just to listen to your recorded voice." I want to say so much more but I'm reminded of the time limit. "Uhm, My mom's kind of in a hurry so that's pretty much all I have to say for today, Hope to be with you again, someday." -soon- I thought, not someday but soon.
When we got home, I kept rereading Lidewij's email. I fought back the urge to cry and break down in front of my laptop. 'The marks humans leave are too often scars' -soon- I thought. 'I love her. I am so lucky to love her, you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.' -really soon, Gus- It kept popping in my head like a mantra, -soon, soon, soon- When bed time came, I had trouble falling asleep. I kept seeing Augustus's face, his unlit cigarette, all the stuff he taught me, our memories, and our little infinity. When exhaustion finally took over me, I slept uneasily. Then I woke up due to a terrible headache and a really hard time breathing. "Mom! Dad!" I shouted with all the strength left in me. They surged into my room, panicking. "Michael! Call 911!" My mom said as my dad hastily took the phone.
"No, mom." I said as I took a deep, painful breath.
"Hazel, you're in pain! We have to get you to the hospital!" Said my dad as he dialed the number.
"No, dad. It's time." I said.
"Oh, Hazel." Said my mom, her eyes are filling up with tears, and then suddenly she was crying, along with my dad.
"I've fought this long enough. I can't keep living like this anymore, you have to set me free." I said, as my breathing got harsher and louder.
"We're sorry. We just couldn't live without you, it's just gonna be so different..." Said my mom.
"I know," I said. "But we all know I'll never truly leave, I'll always be right here."
"Where?" They said in unison.
I pointed at their hearts. "Right there." I said, then smiled at them, unintentionally making them cry more.
"I love you, Hazel." Said my dad.
"And I love you, dad. I love you too, mom." I said with a rough voice.
I was about to say more, when a blinding light appeared in front of me. And within a split second, he was there, Augustus Waters, Gus, MY Gus, the star crossed love of my life. He never looked better. He looks alive and well, his prosthetic leg gone. He's now perfectly healthy.
"Hello, Hazel Grace. I've missed you so much" he said. With the endearing voice I've always loved.
"Oh, Gus. I've missed you so much too." I said as I burst into tears. I realized that breathing's getting easier.
"Are you ready?" He said.
"Yes." I replied.
"We'll never be separated again. Together forever, Hazel Grace. Okay?" He said as he outstretched his hand, waiting for mine.
"Okay." I said as I took his hand, and let everything go.
YOU ARE READING
The Fault In Our Stars (TFIOS) Epilogue.
Short StoryA short story about what happened to Hazel Grace Lancaster a year after Augustus Waters died.
