Beintehaan : When Love Is Limitless

Chapter 4: || Hurt ||

Om-"Usski kya opinion hai iss baare mein...ek baar jaane ki koshish ki...wo kya sochti hai ...wo kya iss rishtey se chathi hai...!Har baar har decision tu nahi le sakta..Shivaay...You cant..!"

Shivaay-"Lena padega...If you knew maine uss ke saath saath kya kya kia...tu shaayad mujh se nafrat karne lage..!" He was unaware that he didn't have a single listener but two.

As soon as he turns to face Om...he sees that Om's eyes were fixed at the entrance of the room, he looks the same direction to find her standing there. She walked in slowly. Her face void of any emotion.

Om-"Mujhe lagta hai...you guys should talk...aur tum dono ke beech jo misunderstanding hai who clear kar do once for all..!"

He leaves. 

Shivaay couldn't take her gaze any longer and turned.

Anika-"Divorce chaate hain aap? Kab tak bhaagenge...kab tak?"

Shivaay-"I think it's the best for us."he said pain evident on his face. He was about to move but she held him by the arm.

Anika-"Kya main itni buri hoon?", tear roll down her cheeks.

Shivaay pained at the sight, gently rubs off that tear involuntarily.. "Main bahut bura hoon."

Anika immediately looked up, her eyes meeting his pained ones.

"Kyun kar rahe hain aap yeh..? "

Shivaay looking the other way, gaining courage-"I know ki hum dono ke liye kya right hain."

Anika lost all her sanity. She turned him and pulled him by his collar-"Kaun hote hain aap...har cheez aap nahi decide kar sakte...samjhe aap.! Bas kijiye... Jahan dil ki suni hoti hain wahan dimaag ki chalate hain...issliye aapka dil kamzor aur dimaag kharab ho gaya hai, abhi toh samajh jaaiye." She shouted angry at his behavior.

He swallowed hard, holding her hands. "Enough Anika...!" He shrugged off her hand.

Anika glared at him. He didn't mind it, after all he had done, he deserved that. But little did he know the glare was out of pain –that he still chose to keep her away from him, from his heart, from his life.

"Kab tak dar ke jeene kaa plan hai..?"

"What?" he said his ego hurt.

"Kab tak dar ke jeene kaa plan hai..?" she said her eyes still fixed on his light blue ones.

He shrugged her hands away.."I don't want to talk.."

She made him turn and held his hands, yet again "Baat karni padegi..!"

"Iss dil mein kya hai main jaana chathi hoon." she said her finger pressed against his chest.

He tried to walk off but she didn't let him.

He was annoyed. Couldnt she get it..he didn't want her more hurt. He had did enough bad.

"Just go away Anika...main tumhe ...tum...aur main...can't happen." he completed painfully. "I am sorry Anika...maine tumhaare baare mein aisa socha... I  am sorry Anika maine tum pe trust nahi...kiya. I m sorry for all this..... that I dragged you into this ...this relation ...I know its not enough...par..." with that tears flooded down his cheek.

She was taken aback, she could feel his pain. Unable to see him like that, she just hugged him as tlightly as she possibly could. After a few moments he slowly raised his hands to place it on her back, but stopped mid way and broke the hug.

Anika-"Sorry..trust...aisa kya socha aapne mere baare mein?" she had always wanted to know, where what went wrong. Why his sudden hate? Why he did what he did!

Shivaay's heartbeats increased, but maybe the truth would make her leave him...for...forever. Wasn't that what he wanted? He swallowed the pain and composed himself for her sake for her happy future's sake.

"I thought...mujhe laga..ki...you and Daksh were in a room and...."he couldn't even complete his sentence it pierced his heart.."I know I was wrong...I believed what I saw..!" he couldn't meet her eyes.

Pain went up her veins all the way to her heart-"Kya dehka aapne..?"

Shivaay keeping a stone on his already weak heart narrated, how he thought she had slept with Daksh for money and in the morning he saw her tiding the bed and Daksh changing his shirt.

After hearing what he had to stay, a lone tear trickled down her eye. Was that he had been thinking about her all that while.? Did he think that low of her? She looked up into his eyes for the answer she needed. He didn't even look towards her. His gaze fixed to the ground. She took a step back then another until she hit the bed. Finally, sat there tears dried yet her heart flooded.

He finally looked up to find her sit there her gaze fixed in blank space. He folded his hand in a fist, he was the reason. He slowly walked up to knelt on the ground before her, taking her hand in his, "I am Sorry...ho sake toh mujhe maaf kar dena..!" with that he got up to leave, but his hand was still in hers.

"Aa gaye kya ? she asked without looking at him as hour or more later  when he came back. "Main tumhe di...divorce...de...dunga...you will be free...! You wont have to see my face ever again." She immediately looked up, her eyes burning with anger.

Why does he have to do this..? Why does she have to love him in spite his faults? Why she dint like what he just said? Why ? Why had she fallen for him out of the entire world? Why him? Why did she still love him like crazy? Why she could give anything for being with HIM? Why was she still there ? Why did her hand never want to leave his? All he had given her was pain...Then why did she love him? Why?

Chot usse lagti Hain

Dard mujhe hota hain

Aankhein nam uski hoti hain

Seene mein Dil mera jalta hain..!

~Anni

P.S

I hope I did justice with the emotions.

Feedback is welcome!