She was done for. Despite their valiant efforts, the spirits of Adam and Barbara couldn't manage to save her and Lydia would be forced to marry the most crude, repulsive creature she had ever met. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined her wedding going like this. Her father and Delia bound against their wills and forced to watch the spectacle, her friends under attack trying to protect her, and her soon-to-be husband a perverted poltergeist.
Whom, at the moment, was standing beside her almost alight with anxious energy. She had given him the opportunity of a lifetime. A desperate situation that could have only been remedied by him with negotiations carried out by a panicked and pretty young teen girl. As if to prove her right, he looked her over out of the corner of his eye and a slight smile touched his moldy, pallid features.
"Geez, what a sicko. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and get a divorce."
Perhaps that's what the dead woman whose ring was on her finger thought.
The preacher, a squat gray alien, delivered the end of his lines. "By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Betelgeuse whipped her around and kissed her aggressively. His slimy, cold tounge invaded her mouth in what she felt was closer to a form of assault than a French kiss. She pushed away from him and spit on the floor.
" Ugh! You, you rude, vile-"
"Not bad, babes." He said, cutting off her furious stuttering. " But I think we can do better. C'mere!" He snatched her up by her waist and leaned in for another kiss. She let out a disgusted gasp and pushed his moldy face away with her hands. "Aw, c'mon doll." He sneered. " Just one more, that's all!"
Lydia suddenly doubled over with a splitting headache. She could have sworn that someone had taken an axe to her head. It was immediately followed up by death as she felt her life draining away. Pain beyond comprehension shot through her body and rebounded off an invisible barrier, bouncing back and forth into eternity. As it lessened, she felt another presence within her, and yet, it was outside her. It was like being connected to a second set of nerves. Her body dropped to the floor, slipping through her husband's fingers, and her spirit rose from it to take it's place in his arms.
Lydia looked down at her corpse, whose eyes were open in a vacant stare. She couldn't believe what lie at her feet. Who lie at her feet.
"What have you done to me?" she hissed as she grabbed Betelgeuse by the collar of his jacket.
"Nothing much." he said with a wave of his free hand, the other still somehow curled around her slender waist.
Just then, a loud crash sounded above them. A striped snake monster broke through the roof above them, a smaller snake coming out of it's mouth wearing a wicked grin. Barbara Maitland rode upon it's back, her once beautiful wedding dress now torn and covered in yellow sand.
Frozen in her panic, Lydia held Betelgeuse's jacket lapels tighter and imagined being back in her room. A warm feeling spread inside her, like hot soup going down her throat, and she felt herself snap back like a rubber band. Opening her eyes she found them in her dark purple room. A record spun lazily, softly playing classical music. It was oblivious to her combination death and marriage.
The relief flowed through her. " What was that thing?!" She wondered.
"God , that was close." Murmured Betelgeuse, shaking slightly. "Damn Sandworms." She realised she was still letting him hold her and pushed him away. He fell unceremoniously onto her bed and gave her a dissatisfied grunt.
Lydia didn't notice. She was still in a slight state of shock. " I'm... I'm... dead. Somehow he killed me... I guess I'm a ghost now like Adam and-"
"Oh my God."
"What?" Asked Betelgeuse. He was busy inspecting her Polaroid.
"Barbara!" Lydia yelled. " She's still out there with that thing!"
She bolted out the door and down the stairs.
"Hey!" Behind her, she could hear her husband rushing down after her. But by time she reached the bottom step he had caught up to her and swept her up bridal style off her feet.
"Let me go!"
"Not so fast, babes." He hissed. "We still have to get to know each other."
He snapped his fingers and as Lydia felt the rubber band feeling again in herself, the feeling of warmth flowed through her mysterious new other half.
