♡The pretty lies, the ugly truth♡

Chapter 2

'' 19th july 1994, Sunday 08.43 am 

I can't sleep. They won't let me. They are screaming inside my head. I can't keep on going like this. It's killing me. I don't have any white anymore. And I am going crazy, so I am going to write. I am not very good at it though, but people say it helps. So, yeah. I should write my feelings...how do I feel? hm..I feel lost. I feel, emty, lonley, suicidal. I am one step away from snapping and I think the last night will make me snap.

It was near midnight or, maybe even midnight when we came downtown. Sarah and I were drunk. Before we went out we were drinking our problems away at Sarah's new place. Her dad bought it for her. Well..I guess that is a plus about having a rich parent. Even though the other one is a whore. Her place is huge. I have never been somewhere so fancy. And it is just an apartment. She still doesn't have any stuff, so we drank some god knows how old viskey and vodka on the floor. We got wasted. And then I took out a joint. She looked at me with her blue eyes, she was afraid. Of me? I don't know. I didn't ask, I didn't care. I laughed at her. She is so innoscence. And she is getting bad. And I hate that I am doing that to her, she is my best friend, the only friend actually. And I'm gonna get her killed. I gave it to her, she accepted it, even if she didn't had or wanted to. And we got high. As one of us, I don't remeber which one suggested to go outside and steal a dog (okay it's probbly me, but we'll say that I don't know). So we got out and started to look for a dog to steal. And then..then three tall beautiful guys came to us. The one who came really close to me was tall, god he was hot and that face..oh god. He is beautiful. Those blue eyes were staring at me and I was staring back. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted to give it to him. He hypnotised me. Just by looking in my eyes. But he didn't..he didn't touch me. And that was disappointing (fine I'm a slut and I like it). He put his hand on my cheek and said 'See you beautiful' and he left. I mean what was that? I have no idea who is he, or what he wants from me. But I know now he is not going to get it. He can't just look at me and say 'see you beautiful' then leave. Okay, I don't like him, it was just..upseting. And hm..weird. Anyway when he left Sarah started to laugh. I still don't know why did she though. So, after 20 minutes when her laughter finally stopped we continued our adventure. It's really hard to find a dog this late, which is weird. In some street, which we thought it is a last place a dog would be, we found it. We found a big fat huskey. Yeah, huskey. I don't get it either. But at the time we didn't care, we took it. And now..now he is licking my cheek, and I am having hard time writing this down, because of this dog and Sarah who is still sleeping in my bed. Oh, I feel hunger too. Please tell me that writing this down will make it go away.