This is My Love

Dying Fires

What suddenly started as rolling tears turned into a guttural cry. Namjoo felt it deep in her soul.

"Sorry," he croaked, "I'm...sorry."

The ache instantly ravaged through her earlier drunken joy. Namjoo wanted to look away from this image of a broken man. Pretend he wasn't here. Pretend this wasn't here.

Pretend that this night was still their night.

"I'm sorry." He cried. The pain on his face was as clear as the moon in the night. Namjoo didn't want to see it. Namjoo wanted to pretend it wasn't there. "I'm so sorry." He sobbed again.

She didn't know if he was talking to her anymore.

If he wanted to apologize for what he had started with her.

If he wanted to apologize for being so helpless.

Touching her hand his lips trembled. "Yanghwa, why did you leave me?"

Tears brimmed at the corner of her eyes. She refused to let them fall. For if they did it would really mean she was nothing to him. And she would lose what she almost had.

"We promised to grow old," he sobbed. "Why did you leave me? I can't do this alone. I miss you. I'm so lonely." He let out a weak cry that punched her in the guts. "Can't you come back?"

The tears dripped. The sorrow slicing her open as he pulled her hand toward his chest, gripping tighter afraid he could lose her. But she wasn't who he wanted.

"I love you." Dropping his head, he cried so hard his tears created a small puddle on the table top. "Don't go. Please don't go."

The tears streamed faster. Each seam of her heart coming apart with his every cry. It hurt and it hurt and it hurt. The pain plunged deeper and deeper into her heart. Driving its stake through her bones, tearing her apart until she was nothing.

"Yanghwa," he wept. "What am I supposed to do without you?"

His shoulders shook. His entire body drooped. The anguish in his cries echoed through her head. Namjoo's heart broke again and again for him.

Crying with him. For him. For herself.

Finally gathering it in her to stroke the side of his head. Dripping tears, as she shattered inside. "It's ok, Sehun."

She continued to listen to the language of his heartbreak. Knowing well that there was nothing she could do.

She wasn't the one.

Swallowing her pit of despair, she got off her chair to pull him into her arms. Let him weep against her shoulder as the night died out.

◊◊◊◊◊

Sehun groaned. Moaned. The sun was shining directly into his face interrupting his sleep. He shifted and rolled over. Finally opening his eyes to peer around his room. Seeing that the door was closed and momentarily confused. The pang in his head made him wince when he pushed himself up. God, he needed to puke.

Rushing out the door he made it to the bathroom in time to relieve himself. Until he was dry heaving into the toilet. Groaning once more he leaned against the sink counter wondering what the hell happened last night. Hanging his head low trying to recall anything, something.

Remembering Namjoo. The date with her. The nice day they'd had. And then he blanked out.

Just a few drinks he'd said, but he wasn't a drinking person anymore. He was Gunta's father. He had to be smart for his son's sake.