Blurryface

"Wake up, you need to make money" -blurryface

My demons are wining again. I stare at myself in the full length mirror. I'm only wearing my boxers this time. How did I go from a child playing with toys without a care in the world to a 17 year old boy in high school wanting to die? If someone could tell me, or help me understand I would be probably be happy. I don't know though. I just want to smile and mean it. But I can't. And that's what haunts me. Not knowing what when wrong. Or when. I can't even remember the last time I was happy. But I can vividly remember the very first time I tried to kill myself. I don't blame my father anymore. It wasn't his fault. It never was. At least that what I like to tell myself.

I want to be a kid again. I miss having friends, family, and a partner. Now I'm alone. Well, not completely. My "alter ego" as I call him is always with me. His name is, Blurryface. He judges me and tells me things. And it's always bad things. I don't like him.