Wilted Flowers

Has To Be Me

Can we be friends?
Could this all end?
Can I trust you?
If only people knew.

I am a ghost
I'm here but not really
I am lost,
I can't see where I'm going
I'm trying to speak
My mouth is moving
But all you hear is a screech
It's sounds horrid
You ask what's wrong
I say nothing and shrug it off
Thinking if only you knew
If only I could tell you
what's really going on

You're starting to look at me concerned
I tell you I'm fine.
You believe me
Why did you believe me?

I start telling myself I'm ok
You are fine
But no.
I'm not
I'm struggling to hide it even from myself

I'm breaking inside
I'm falling apart
I can't sleep at night
It's weighing on my heart

What's wrong with me?
Why can't I be free?
I'm stuck in a cycle
A cycle no one can control not even myself

I used to think as long as you have control
You'll be fine
But what happens once you lose control?

I have hope, but it's grown smaller than ever
I don't know what to do
My mind says to just forget it
But my heart says no

Once it happens it is always there
You can never forget

But

I just don't understand
Why it has to be me