One year later...
Everything's just the same.
It don't matter how far I run and how deep I hide, you cant outrun the past and you can't outsmart the devil because the devil was once an angel and all that shit. All I know is Im on the run again and Im getting tired, my resources are drying up and so is the cash flow. Its like a drought at one point everything is their until the sun beats down on it to hard and the once full lake runs out of time just like a clock. You cant avoid the clock resetting itself and starting right back at the beginning like you cant avoid a year from starting anew, and this time the storm is coming at full force and there's nothing to do from stopping the monsoon from hitting like a freight train. I'll get caught if not sooner than later because I can already see myself becoming sloppier and the drugs kicking in making me forget what this was all for and what Im really running from. Am I really running from the devil or myself and the devil I'm becoming.
Fucking hell, Ace what are ya doing waking a girl up at this ungodly time in the mornin, I aint got nothin to do anyway. What the hell was I on last night and how do I get it again, I dont remember anything from last night. Cal, its not the mornin and its also been a week since you've been in the daylight. Get your ass up or I will carry you myself and dump you at Sins house, you love the bitch, but you to scared to tell her. So, get your scared winey bitch ass up or you aint gonna get peace ever.
I shouldnt be surprised that he said that. Because thats Ace for ya sweet, sarcastic, and one of my only friends worth a damn. To add to that hes gay, very gay which means he doesnt try to pick me up with gag inducing pick up lines and hed threaten to drop me off at my ex's house because in the end he knows I love her and thats what scares the shit outta me. Im sober and shaky I know Im outta my drug of choice and if Ace sees me doing drugs Ill get thrown over his shoulder like a rag doll and dragged over to Sins house in a heartbeat. So like the winey bitch I am I push him out the door yellin. Go get donuts and coffee, when ya get back Ill be showered and dressed.
I head to the shower grabbing the crystal and pipe from my hiding spot before hopping in the bathtub. Might as well get clean while smoking. What I didnt know was that Ace the fucking bastard gave a key to my ex and I didnt know she was their until she was slamming open the bathroom door like a freight train and thats all I saw as the memories pushed past the steel door of my mind, as I saw the face that could break my heart and repair it all in the same time span. What the fuck Cal, I thought you were done with the fucking drugs. Crystal again I can't believe you. Ace said you were sober. Once she was done with her outburst I slowly stood up naked as the day I was born because who cares shed seen it all before. Well, I was sober for about ten minutes, but who are ya to judge, really. How many pills do ya have in your bag and how many fresh cuts litter yall fucking body. Dont give me that disapproving mom look, yous not my mother and ya not any better than me. So, cut the over dramatic crap and explain why yous bursting in here all yappy and shit. Yous said Ace called me a sober one well y'all should know not to trust his wacked opinion on me. Yall stupid if youd believe Id stay sober. Now get the fuck out yous wasting my time.
I gave up on showering peacefully and instead finished my grams and moved into a floating like state half aware that I was not alone and not giving a damn. If Sin was still in my house why would I care I was nothing other than a casual fuck to her even if we were together for about six months. She left me one she realized I would never admit my disguise because she had figured out pretty fast that my name wasnt my real name when people had called out to me. Id never get used to answering to a different name. In my mind I was still Caelia Serene Raven Murder, the daughter of one of the most feared fae, to add to that I was one of the most rare fae I was a Dark Angel, Siren, Succubus, and a Sidhe. If I took my glamor off I would have a sheet of inky black wings. That's why my name fit me, people or fae always said it was serene to see my full creature, my wings were the color of a ravens, but with a mix of dark red, and I murdered people a lot of them before I ever got control of myself. Im just like my father, he was the most feared and he was only a Incubus and Sidhe. My mother died having me and she was a Dark Angel and Siren. Thats what drew me to Sin, shes fae and doesnt even remember it, doesnt even know it. Shes part of the Unseelie Court to. A dark fae and she doesnt know it, power rolls off her in waves showing exactly how powerless whoever put a glamour on her really was. It might have worked well for her as a kid but at her age her powers were fully kicking in and she was becoming immortal. I couldnt tell what species she was, but something in her called to me. The whisper of familiar magic, the need for blood, violence and despair always followed her, just like it followed me. We had our demons and they were slowly eating us up minute by minute, day by day. Tainting everything we do, everything we say, and everything we think. Remember that thing William Shakespeare one said, If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? That's how it is, isnt it, thats how life is if not for all people than for the lot of them. We like revenge it's in our nature, to make people hurt as much as they hurt us, to make people feel the misery humanity inflicted upon us.
You know Cal, what my favorite words are, By that sin, fell the angels. It was written by William Shakespeare. Thats what you are, an Angel that sinned. That went from light to dark. That lost all humanity.
I wanted to believe her and I would if I knew I was born dark I was born a fucked up monster and not even sweet words can change that. I was bred to rule to destroy and the clock was ticking down I was running on empty. Could feel that tight pit in my stomach becoming tighter, suffocatingly so. My glamor wouldnt hold up much longer without the veil because that piece I stole from it was dying and one day soon it wouldnt be me Sin walked in to see, but the monster under the thin veil of magic. Thats the day I'm dreading. The day Ill have to explain why Im dragging her to a kingdom she knows nothing about that if she likes it or not shes apart of. I was never an angel Sin I was born a devil a tool of evil thats why my last names Murder. I knew before it had even slipped out of my lips that I was a mistake because the minute the words left my lips the past came crashing back and the reality of what I had done crashed my blissful high, and I could tell she knew what the look on my face meant that without truly knowing it yet that the look on my face would one day become hers she could feel that pull we had on each other. That no matter what we could never leave each other that's why I couldnt stop thinking about her and why she couldnt stop coming around. I love you I whispered knowing that when I woke up Id be a whole different creature and shed be gone.
