Once Upon A Twisted Fate

Sixteen. - Explosion

We sat together on the park bench, leaning against our backs, taking in the activities going on around us, as well as the serene atmosphere that came with it. People who walked past us gave us looks of disapproval, but we didn’t care. They knew nothing about us; nothing about what we were feeling inside. They had no right to judge, so why should we care? We whispered sweet nothings to each other, feeling our breath dance lightly against our skin. We were basically doing nothing but creating a thousand memories, thinking we would want something like this to occupy our minds forever.

                The moment was so flawless it could have been easily pulled out of a storybook. There was no right or wrong, our feelings, just inexplicable emotions colliding with one another, somehow causing us to attract each other, desiring our respective presence.

                There was a time I thought I wanted to go back there. We were so blinded by love, thinking it was so strong nothing could bring it tumbling down. Or, at least I was thinking that way. The chain I once thought was love that held us together was, in fact, so frail I found it pathetic.

                One single gossip.

                That was all it took to have it collapsed. Perhaps the bond we had weren’t sturdy at all, only inside my mind it seemed so. He couldn’t have had the same feeling. Our breakup proved that. But why do I feel like navigating back to him? Was I still holding on without realizing it? The whole other side of me, the rational and logical side, blinded me with red lights, asking me to back off. It snapped me back to my senses, reminding me I have to face the boy I once thought was my everything.

                “What are you saying?” I asked, even though my inner self was trying to run away from facing it, because of how the past experience haunted me.

                “I don’t realize it, but I could feel it whenever I see your face.”

                My chest tightened. He sounded so sincere I almost wished I hadn’t heard it. “Why now?”

                “Why not now? I’ve been letting chance after chance slip by me. I’m not letting this one go by, either.”

                “After all this time…” I left my words hanging, not knowing where I was going after that.

                “I made a mistake, Eryn. And I’ve been holding back what I’ve always wanted to tell you for so long.”

                I kept quiet, waiting for his words to pour out.

                “I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m sorry for believing lies about you. Most of all, I’m sorry I haven’t said anything sooner.”

                My lungs were contracting and relaxing as usual, yet I felt like I was suffocating. Anger? Frustration? Despair? I wasn’t sure, but my tears were telling me it wasn’t a feeling I should enjoy. Blinking my eyes a few times, I managed to hold them back, hoping it wouldn’t stream down when I say my next few words.

                “Don’t you think you’re a little too late? It’s been more than a freaking year!”

                “I know—”

                “That’s longer than the time we’ve been together.”

                That quieted him. My original intention of unveiling what Tia had told him felt secondary now. I wanted to scream on top of my lungs, wanted to shut the world out. I wanted to kick and yell at him for causing the eruption of my emotions, wanted to ask him to just go away; I didn’t know how much more I could take. But my expression was as stoic as an artwork. It was all too overwhelming. Leaving was not an option now; it was a priority. And leave I did.