Heaven On The Brain

Hurt

Zim Zum's P.O.V:

Pogo had dragged me out the room for no apparent reason and plopped me down on the couch. He continued to scold me, telling me 'from now on cocaine is out' I frowned at this new rule. Was it really worth being with Pogo if it meant giving up all 'adult substances?' Hell, I wouldn't be able to quit Cocaine if my life depended on it. Drug addiction is something that can't easily be discarded and Pogo knew it himself. Not being bothered to argue, however, I only agreed with him like a 'good boy.'

-

Possibly no less than ten minutes later a rukus was heard heading our way, along with very distinct laughter. Stephen rolled his eyes, jumping to his feet as if to face who ever was coming our way- though it was more than obvious that it was those two dumbasses again.

Marilyn walked in with a huge grin plastered on his face. "I'd like to introduce you to my baby" he sniggered, gesturing to something behind him. Suddenly Twiggy stumbled in, my pink pacifier in between his lips. "Dadda" he mimicked. Manson burst out laughing and soon Twiggy did the same, spitting the pacifier to his feet.

My eyes widened immensely and Pogo's fists were now balled. He began to twitch, red with rage. Manson reached down and picked the pacifier up, it was now smothered in Twiggy's saliva. "This yours, big boy?" He smirked at Stephen. Pogo twitched one more time before lunging at Manson. Twiggy gasped and attempted to pull him off, his small arms of no use however. "Fuck you!" Pogo snarled, punching Manson square in the jaw. Marilyn only laughed harder. Spit flew out of Stephen's mouth as he yelled profanities, cursing him to hell.

"Okay! Okay! Stop!" I yelled as loud as I could causing every one to turn and look at me. "It's...my pacifier...n-not Stephen's!" I stammered, not wanting Pogo to take the blame. Manson squinted, staring at me then back at Pogo. "Really?" He questioned. I quickly nodded. Twiggy snatched the pacifier from Manson and handed it to me straight away. Manson and Twiggy quietly apologized then walked away back to wherever they hide in the bus.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Stephen asked, scratching his head, still infuriated. "Why did they just hand it over to me without question?" I said, completely confused as to why Manson was willing to fight Pogo but not me. "At least we didn't get into another fight..."

-
Twiggy's P.O.V:

Guilt pricked at my chest. How could we be so foolish? It should of been obvious that the pacifier belonged to Zim...he's the most fragile out of all of us.

"Twiggy" Brian spoke, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Do you remember when we saw Zim that time in the bathroom?" I nodded. I remembered it well.

When Zim Zum first joined the band he was so very quiet and shy. He barely spoke or ate and honestly it was beginning to piss Manson and I off for whatever dumb reason.

So, Last year on the last day of tour we snuck into Zim Zum's hotel room that he was staying in alone. We wanted to find out if he had any secrets since his lack of conversation left us knowing almost nothing about him.

To our disappointment he was in the shower when we finally picked the lock to the hotel room door with one of my hair clips. So, being the asshats we are, we decided to try and pick the lock to the bathroom door too. After about ten minutes of pointless efforts it opened and we wondered how Zim hadn't heard us trying to break in. We weren't the quietest of people.

Our smug grins of accomplishment and mischeviousness dropped however when we saw what was on the other side of the door.

The small room was damp and a thick, musky fog from the warmth of the shower filled up the room. And there sat Zim Zum on the floor, in the corner next to the toilet. His eyes we're puffed up with wetness, his cheeks bright red. His hard cock had been pulled out of his shorts and lied between his fingers. His pale arms we're oozing with a thick crimson substance. A frown was plastered on Brian's face as he just stared. Uneasiness and regret spiked in my veins as I realised what we were looking at. The bloodied blade, resting next to his thigh.

It was only a few moments yet it felt like hours of aching silence. Eventually Zim Zum's hoarse voice echoed throughout the small room. "Get the fuck Out!" and so we did...quickly scampering away and slamming the door behind us.

We never once brought it up afterwards. We all chose to pretend that day never existed. We were all full of shame from that experience and Brian and I learned to never go snooping around people's private shit again.

...Today was a huge mistake. We embarrassed ourselves, Pogo and Zim Zum. Sympathy isn't something Manson and I are usually familiar with yet that one incident last year left us forever guilty and subservient towards Zim Zum.

We all hurt. We all feel the decay. We all understand what pain is...and we all know that the weak and fragile suffer the most...just like small children.