Jesus, We Need You

Discipline

Today it snowed a lot (which I prayed for.) I love the snow and this season so much. As you grow older, things you enjoyed when you were little just don't feel the same anymore. I've been trying to enjoy this winter like I did when I was younger but something was missing... the snow! This is the second time it has snowed where I live and I must say I am so happy it snowed. Anyways today was a pretty relaxing day for me until I did something I shouldn't have. I got angry. I try so hard not to get angry with people because what if Jesus returns while I'm angry? Jesus wouldn't take me with him if I was angry because God tells us not to be angry. And in that moment the person who made you angry won't even matter. Anyways I got so angry and so full of hate in that one moment it was overwhelming. And after my little tantrum I felt so sad. I felt bad that I had popped off on everyone. I realized I still had past hurts in me that haven't healed. I started to cry. I also realized that in moments like that I get so angry because I hold everything in and when one little thing sets me off I explode! I realized that I have to let go of past anger and past hurts and keep moving. It only weighs me down. I have to pray to God to help me to let go of this hurt and sadness in my heart so I can finally be free. I forgave the people who set me off and tried to make things better. I think everyone should ask God for strength to forgive and let go because it really is so important. Even if you don't want to forgive, ask God for strength and think of it as forgiving for God's sake, not yours. It makes you feel so free and weightless.

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I named this chapter discipline because that is something I've been trying to teach myself, discipline. When I decided to fully change my life for Christ I realized I lacked self discipline a lot. I wasn't consistent with good habits and I wasn't strict enough with myself. Self discipline is important to me because being disciplined will help me stop my old ways and will please God. One thing I lacked in my self discipline was this really bad habit that I couldn't stop myself from doing. A lot of times I tried to convince myself that it was okay to do it, other times I told myself this would be the last time... and it wasn't. I was lacking self discipline. I had to be more disciplined so I could turn away from that sin and not look back, so I could tell myself to stop and actually listen to myself. I can't really explain it well but I hope you guys understand. You need to discipline and mature yourself so you can change and become the person God wants us to be. You need to be disciplined enough to say you're going to ignore that person or a potential problem with someone. You need to be disciplined enough to say this is the last time I'm doing this and actually stop doing it. You need to be disciplined enough to let go of grudges and past hurts and look ahead instead of looking back. Hold yourself more accountable for the bad things you do and tell yourself to stop doing it. This is the first step of change. Train yourselves to leave bad habits behind and follow Jesus. I'm not perfect, I'm not a pastor, I am just a girl who hopes to help people in their journey's of self improvement and changing their lives for Christ as I am doing myself.

Stay blessed my beloveds, and may God bless you

xox.

"I mean that God was in Christ, making peace between the world and himself. In Christ, God did not hold people guilty for their sins. And he gave us this message of peace to tell people. So we have been sent to speak for Christ. It is like God is calling to people through us. We speak for Christ when we beg you to be at peace with God."

2 Corinthians 5:19-20 ERV