{Minayeon} The Pulse of a Heartbeat

Chapter 7 - Penumbra (Finding Light in the Shadows)

I wake up slowly.

Sunshine is pouring into my eyes, golden beams softly touching my face. Tentatively, I peer around me. I'm surrounded by water, but I'm not in it.

I'm standing on it.

It's like cool gel beneath my body, rippling out from under me. When I stand, I keep upright. I don't sink. The water splashes through my toes, but I'm supported and I walk freely, easily.

I'm in the middle of the ocean it seems. There's nothing but endless blue skies laced with huge white clouds. Underneath me is sparkling crystal waters, flawlessly clear and refreshingly cool. It's a literal paradise. But where the heck am I?

Somehow, I feel different. But I don't know how.

Why do I feel so...calm?

That's it.

That's the difference.

I'm at peace.

How?

I don't know.

I'm not mad at myself. I'm not disappointed at myself. I'm not regretful at myself.

How? What did I do?

"Mina." A deep voice. An unmistakable voice. I feel my heart stop in my chest. "Mina, Mina, what are you doing here?"

I turn.

Warm smile. Tousled hair. Eyes disappearing behind round tanned cheeks.

"Kai," I whisper, then louder. "Kai!" Suddenly there's a feeling of emptiness in my chest.

"Did you miss me?" he grins and opens his arms. I dive into his embrace and he laughs out loud, a sound I've nearly forgotten.

"Of course, you dummy," I say, trying to hug him even tighter. "I missed you so damn much."

"You've grown," he comments cheekily, mussing my hair up. "But not much."

"Kai..where are we?" I peer into his eyes and he sobers, eyes darkening.

"That's why I am here, Mina," he says solemnly, stepping back and folding his arms across his broad chest. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Don't be ridiculous!" I cry out, beating his chest, and he turns his head away. "I haven't seen you for seven years and you just come back to say I'm 'not supposed to be here'?" My tone turns sarcastic, bitter. "Is this what 'reunion' is like?"

"I'm not joking, Mina." He answers in a serious tone. "You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be...well, elsewhere."

"Elsewhere...?" I echo. "I have to go back to wherever I originally was?"

"Yeah," he smiles, but his voice is thick. "Look, Mina. I don't want you to go. I missed you so much. I can't tell you how happy I am to see you! But..." His voice trails away and his eyes mists as he glances across the waters. "It'd be selfish of me to keep you here. People...people back home are gonna miss you."

"Miss me?" I mutter darkly, a strange heavy tightness in my throat. Anger? Hurt? "Who? There's nobody. Mom and Dad don't care at all. They barely cared when you... left."

There's silence between us. The water is still cool beneath my palms, curling through my fingers and lapping gently at my feet. My shoulders are tensed, my back is hunched. I wrap my arms around my knees. "You're hurting yourself, you know," Kai says softly. "You only focus on work, just like before. But now, it's even worse. You refuse to give in. Show that you need someone in your times of need. Why is that?"

"I'm afraid..." I mumble first quietly, then louder. "I'm afraid of being hurt again. Powerless...helpless...I can't be that way. I can't...It hurt me so much. Knowing that I was a fool, for trusting him, for trusting myself in my decisions." Now, my emotions are rising and my voice is as well.

"But do you fear her?"

It's like a pin drops and suddenly, there's nothing. The water stops splashing, the breeze refuses to whisper, and the sky fades to colorless. I'm surrounded now by a dull grey, neither light nor dark, neither black nor white. There's no sense of dimension, time, or space. I'm suspended in nothingness, a penumbra.

"Her?"

"Yes, her." Kai's voice echoes, but I don't see him anymore. "You know exactly who I'm talking about."

"Why would I care about her?" I shout, searching for his face. "We barely know each other."

"Don't be ridiculous!" He yells back and I'm temporarily stunned by the power in his voice. "You know it. I know it, even over here. She likes you, Myoui Mina. Why can't you tell? She wants to help you, she wants to care for you. But you've been shunning her, just like everyone else." I stare at my feet. I know what he's saying, but I don't know how to respond. "She is concerned about you," he continues. "She always has been."

Above me, a blinding brightness shines from my right side in my face, causing me to squint and shield my eyes. On my left, a chasm opens - deep, dark, and endless.

"This is your choice, Myoui Mina," Kai says gently. "Fortunately you're in the Penumbra. It's a crossroad, but you must make the decision which road you shall take. You can leave behind everything and come down to the Umbra. Or you can go back. Back to the ones who love you. It's your choice."

I exhale deeply, then look toward the light.

Kai reappears, a sad smile on his face. His features are transparent as if he were a ghost. "You made a good choice, sis." There's a tremor in his voice, and I swallow thickly. His brown eyes are filled with tears. "I'm proud of you. Please make the most of your life. I love you."

I reach out to give him a final hug, but he shakes his head slowly. Giving me a gentle shove, he pushes me toward the brightness. Then vanishes.

Everything around me swirls, dips, and sways, making me dizzy and disoriented.

I'm falling.

Falling.

Falling.

A/N - a short chapter as a build-up for the next emotional one. In case anyone doesn't know what penumbra is, it is is the mid-region of a shadow, neither totally dark or completely light. (I'd advise looking it up - I do a terrible job of explaining.) Anyway, hope you enjoy my random update, especially considering I'm known for droughts with my works (well, what can I say? I'm from California! :P) By the way, my dear readers, would you like an active chat discussion? I have enough karma to activate one, so I'm posting a poll for my readers down below. Also, I am a really fast reader, so 1k words do not seem like enough substance to me, but I know other people think it's okay. I hope it satisfies you enough!