Exo's Residential Perverts: An Exo Conversation
Kai: *high pitched shriek*
Kai: *running down the hallway in a towel*
Chanyeol: KAIYAH COME BACK
Kai: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK
Xiumin: woah woah woah why are you screaming
Suho: Calm the fuck down
Kai: NO I WON’T CALM THE FUCK DOWN
Kai: WE HAVE A FUCKING PERVERT IN OUR MIDST
Chen: you mean aside from tao
Tao: hEY!!!!!!
Kris: *sigh* okay fine what happened this time
Tao: IM NOT A PERVERT
Baekhyun: it’s okay tao
Baekhyun: we all know at this point
Kai: HEY LISTEN TO ME THIS IS IMPORTANT
Kai: WE NEED TO SET UP A NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH OR SOMETHING
Suho: JUST TELL US ALREADY
Suho: I’m missing the discovery channel special…
Sehun: hyung you’re such a loser
Suho: *takes out wallet and casually counts all his money*
Sehun: hyung you know I love you for your personality, right???
Kai: LEMME FINISH
Kai: so I was going to take a shower and I turned on the water to warm it up and left to go get my clothes
Kai: And when I opened the bathroom door I saw….
Minseok: saw what?
Luhan: What could’ve been so bad that-
Kai: CHANYEOL STANDING IN THE SHOWER WITH A BOTTLE OF LOTION
Chen: wtf
Chanyeol: IT’S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
Tao: sounds like a pervert to me
Baekhyun: you would know…
Tao: *starts crying*
Lay: what a sensitive and disgusting soul
Lay: he’s probably possessed by the demon of a sexually frustrated old man
Suho: Lay…what are you even-
Lay: excuse me I have an exorcism to perform
Lay: *chants in tongues over tao*
Sehun: so anyways, back to pervyeol
Chanyeol: I AM NOT A PERVERT
Chanyeol: I JUST DIDN’T SEE THE NEED TO TAKE A SEPARATE SHOWER AND WASTE WATER
Kyungsoo: Okay let’s say we believe that
Kyungsoo: Why did you have lotion in the shower?
Chanyeol:…..
Exo:…..
Chanyeol: I have…um….dry feet
Luhan: so what you’re saying is
Sehun: you got in Kai’s shower
Suho: to put lotion
Xiumin: on your feet
Chanyeol: YES
Kyungsoo: I feel like he’s telling the truth
Kai: wHAT?!?!?!?!
Baekhyun: yeah. Chanyeol can’t lie for shit
Kai: YOU’RE SIDING WITH HIM?!?!?!?!?!!
Chen: I mean he’s weird an
Chen: but he’s harmless
Kai: IVE BEEN SCANDALIZED AND YOU’RE TELLING ME HE’S HARMLESS
Kris: next time just shower with tao.
Kris: he’ll protect you for sure
Exo: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
Tao: *scoff*
Tao: you guys are just jealous
Lay: I’m not
Luhan: me neither
Xiumin: ditto
Sehun: I’d rather not be a perv thanks
Tao: SHUT UP
Chanyeol: YOU GUYS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
Tao: let’s go chanyeol
Baekhyun: yeah go take a shower with each other or something
Tao: that’s a great idea
Tao: I can even help you put your lotion on!
Exo: *mildly horrified*
Chanyeol:………
Chanyeol: umm…I suddenly don’t feel like showering anymore…
Tao: Damn it
