My Secret to Keep

Sunday

The small sanctuary was flooded with voices raised in worship. Some slightly off key, others clearly singing to their own tune, and a rare few blending in perfect harmony. Starling closed her eyes and waited for the peace she always found sitting in her grandmother's tiny Baptist church, but it never came. Thoughts of the previous week kept pushing it out. When the song ended, the pastor called for a dismissal prayer, and she bowed her head and prayed for a way to come to terms with the circus that was now her life.

"Ready to go," Nana asked, slipping a worn hymnal into the back of the pew in front of her.

Starling nodded and gathered her things, waving to the people who called her name as they made their way down the aisle to the front of the church. Pastor Trey shook hands and hugged those who passed by, his wife catching the few he missed. She caught bits of conversation as they waited for their turn. Most of it was the same as every other week. Prayer request updates, lunch plans, and what so and so was bringing to the next potluck. But from time to time, she heard her brother's name fall from someone's lips, either in reverence or distaste, and she was reminded of the secret she carried into the Lord's house.

"Why Mrs. Gertrude, you're looking just as pretty as a picture today," Pastor Trey said, capturing Nana in a solid embrace, his meaty arms nearly doubling around her frail frame. His wife, Laura Catherine, pulled Starling into a much less aggressive side hug.

"Well, you do know how to turn an old woman's head, Pastor," Nana said, patting her well sprayed head of gray hair. "But I appreciate the compliment all the same."

"And how are you doing Starling? I hear you've had a hectic week." He and Nana shared a look, and Starling looked over her shoulder to see how many people were waiting. As luck would have it, they were the last ones. She'd wondered why her grandmother had gone so slow this morning- not, that the woman was ever in a hurry to leave church, but she'd walked at half her usual pace, letting others cut in front of them.

"I told him," Nana said, patting Starling's hand. "When you first moved here, I wanted someone to confide in, and with everything going on, I'm glad I did."

"You know we're here if you ever need an ear," Laura Catherine said.

Wondering what all her grandmother had actually said, Starling just nodded. "I appreciate it, but he's going to keep everything quiet, so hopefully things won't change too much."

"It can't be easy, having everyone on edge at your school. Especially, it being your senior year and all. I heard Gillian Shaw is attending as well, and according to the news, another celebrity might enroll before the week is out."

Pastor Trey rubbed his clean shaven jaw. "I can't believe the school is allowing all of this to go on. I sure hope it's not affecting the education y'all are getting." Their twins were freshman at the school.

"I'm sure the school is receiving a lot of money for allowing them to come," Laura Catherine said, her tone much softer than her husband's. "If that means we can afford new band uniforms next year, then I'm okay with a little chaos."

"Yes, well..." Starling hooked her arm through her grandmother's as a group of people she'd missed joined the line. "Thank you for checking up on me."

When they were in the car, Nana folded her hands over her Bible and fixed a hard look on her granddaughter. She said nothing, and Starling knew the older woman was waiting for her to speak first.

"Nana, I can't look at you while I'm driving."

"That was a little rude, rushing us from the church like that."

"There was nothing else to say, and Annabeth Stein was standing right behind us at the end. You and I know that woman can spread gossip faster than gasoline spreads a fire. I don't want anyone knowing about Griffin, alright."