More precious than Polar Light
Polarlight
What comes to your mind when you hear that word?
Aside from its literal meaning, what else?
Right, that girl. That shutterbug which fans either love or dread.
I am that girl. I am that one who goes wherever he is, I know everything he does, I've even adopt his mannerisms and all his extra ordinary characters. I know all his moles, his scratches and everything he's gone through.
There actually is nothing interesting about me... Well about my photos, maybe there is a glimpse of a bizarre or strange feels about the way I take photos,or just the way the photos turned out to be.
It's not a big deal for me honestly,because I know they're all just 'fanservice'.
It's funny actually when people or fans say that he is always making 'eye contact' with me when the truth is he's just initiating a 'camera contact' with me.
I was a fan of him ever since he debuted, and I've watched him grow to become such a fine man as what he is today. He's just undeniably awesome.
I've seen him go crazy on the stage, acting goofy and idiot just to make his fans curve their lips, i've heard his soft and calming voice that echoes throughout my eardrum every time he sings.
God. He's just so perfect.
It's like everything he does is perfect. No mistake, no flaw. That's what I see on him. He's like a baby that when you see him act cute, you would definitely go weak and give up on him. He's irresistible.
Do you know the feeling when you hear someone's voice and there's these electrical shivers that are flowing throughout your body? That's definitely what I feel whenever he sings on stage.
Eargasm. His voice is like a melody. I never got tired of his voice and I never will.
I remember this one time when I gave him a gift. One necklace with a musical note in it. He wears it sometimes on their performance. I always take pictures of it.
Just a remembrance of him appreciating a simple gift from me. It makes me go crazy. Gosh. Do you see his impact on me?
I know this might be a little delusional but.. i'm sometimes hoping.
Hoping that he would actually see me as a person,not just a fan or photographer or a fansite master or shutterbug or whatever you want to call it. I want him to see me in the ocean of fans shouting and worshiping him. I wanted him to see me as a loving girl. One who would do anything for him.. One who would give up and sacrifice anything just for him..
Even if it meant disobeying even my parents..
Yes, my parents were never happy about my decision. Being a fansite master. It actually never crossed my mind. But being a photographer myself, and because of the love I have for him, I did it.
You probably think that I'm calm as hell whenever I take videos of him but nope, you're wrong. Well maybe the videos turned out to be like very steady and straight but deep inside, i'm trembling and those butterflies in my stomach won't stop because of his stares at me-- or my camera. But nonetheless, he still looks at me. And i'll hold on to that.
That happened everytime. Whenever they have performances or concerts or guesting, I will make sure I am seated to the very front to have a clear view of him. And it all went well. He would always look at me and smile. It's just so precious...
