Love Is.

Simon and Cleo

Well, the first question, I guess, is "How did you two meet?"

C: I work as a pool-guard. Simon almost drowned. The idiot.

S: Hey! Don't be mean. I could have died!

C: You're a terrible swimmer. You should have known better than to go into the deep end!

S: Blame bad signage.

C: I will not! I'll blame you!

So, Cleo, you saved his life?

C: Nope. The other pool-guard did.

S: Sadly, the dude-guard was the one who gave me the kiss of life.

C: Yup. And then Simon here spent the next hour complaining and trying to convince me he wasn't gay.

S: Nuh-uh. I was trying to ask you out.

C: To convince me you weren't gay.

S: Psh. No. What, you actually bought that? Damn, I'm good.

S: Ow, ow, ow, owowowowowowowow. Stop! No! Please!

Please refrain from hitting the other interviewees.

C: Never.

S: Oh, no. I didn't want you to stop hitting me! That was kind of hot.

C: Then what did you want me to stop doing?

S: Being angry at me... I don't like it when you're angry at me.

S: You won't have sex with me when you're angry.

Okay! Next question. Do you love each other? And why do you feel you do, or don't?

S: Firstly: That's two questions. Secondly: I love her lots and lots! And she loves me too! Because I am amazing.

S: Obviously.

C: Suuure you are, hunny.

S: You love me really.

C: Yeah, I do.

C: Unfortunately.

S: Why are you always so abusive? I am astounded by your rash behaviour!

C: ...

C: You have no idea what rash behaviour means, do you?

S: Sure I do! A rash is an... itchy-thingumy?

C: Anyway. Yes, I love him. No, I have no idea why.

We're running low on time here. Should we just skip to the ahead to the end?

C: Feel free. I'm sure Simon has nothing important to say.

S: Never do. I just like to ramble.

Alrighty then. Could you both finish the sentence: "Love is..."

C: Love is... transcendant.

S: Just had to use a big word, didn't you? Making me look stupid...

C: Oh, you don't need me to make you look stupid.

S: It's a sign of affection! I hope.

S: Well, I think love is waking up to the sound of you yelling at me.

C: Why?

S: Nobody else would bother. And I wouldn't want them to.

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Wendy and Trixie

First question! How did you two meet?