the old and the new (old jam)

memories suck

Another night, another scream, another dead body lying at my feet. I loved my job it gave me a way to let out all my anger guilt and whatever icky emotions I felt and help me go static. My feelings have been well a lot since the twitch came along. That boy can hardly think without falling. Almost reminds me of someone I once knew the more I think of who trying in vain to remember the more my head hurts. Memory blocked. just wonderful.

I can remember my first word, so then why can't I remember who my friends were. I can remember I knew Brian before, and I don't know how. I know I had loved someone before I think, Someone with emerald eyes. I need to kill again not only to distract my mind and please it but to also satisfy my boss — the tyrant of the woods, the slender man. I hate him, but he does get my respect quickly. I have nearly died from his punishments. I know he would never kill me, would he? No. I'm number one so if one of the other mess up they and I get punished too its only fitting.

It took a year or so for this to hit toby that he would only remember his sister in times of punishment. I saw him crying on the ground in the hall, crying for a female. I walked over and began to speak " Rodgers are y-" loud static startled me "do not help him timothy or you will be in his shoes. Now go or be quite" even with him not near I could feel his gaze on me, so I bolted into my room. It was not until that night toby came to me still crying and dazed but left alone. He told me about his life, I already knew this, but I had gone through this and wished I had that sort of guts to talk about it. He was brave that was the one thing I could say nice, even if a bit stupid. He fell asleep in my bed that night, and I fell asleep at my computer chair looking over his file. I think I would be okay with this kid around at least for a short while...

Waking up took a small bit longer than my regular routine. I had a face inches from mine once I woke up, great. So I ended up having to lock myself in the bathroom so I could have any privacy. I hated dressing in front of mirrors, but rather myself than another pair of prying eyes.

The boy who I could still hear ticking outside the door, I could tell he was trying not to make a peep, no matter. I took my mask off slowly, damn I still haven't even greyed from stress. I still looked 20 or so. I haven't aged a day since the beast found me and took me and always denies my death. I tried not to think about this as I finished undressing and redressing. I cannot understand why he won't let some of us age, like the children. Ben and Sally want to grow up, and I would let them but its not my choice. I sometimes forget nothing is anymore; I hate it but love it too. No need to think for split decisions boss will take care of it. He would make most of my choices even if he didn't force me to allow him to. I was lost in thoughts again, right. i look into the mirror one last time before putting on my mask and then i swear i seen a skeleton behind me this made me jump for my medicine and take the, this seemingly real vision also remined me to check if brian took his as well.

i finish quickly splashing my face with water then opening the door onlt to have the twiching child jum on me. i go to start getting him ready so i complte part of my daily duties, i get him ready in the moring and hoodie does it at night. me and the child walk swiftly to our seats without further word to him i sat. tense between hoodie and nothingness being near the head of the table until boss emerged. Everyone but toby quieted down, though he couldn't help it much. He allows us to eat but does watch us closely; sometimes I think he cares about us then I remember, he needs us alive for wars and to gain power.

I look up just as he began to hand out assignments. I look at the folder brain had gotten, I wanted to scream I wasn't his partner great: I'm doing paper wo- " MAASSSK-KKYY! GUESS WHOS YOUR P-PARTNER TODAYYYYYY" he almost fell onto the table waving the small envelope.no...this couldn't be happening.