You're In My Veins

Nothing Goes As Planned

WARNING: Mention of child abuse towards the end.

The trouble it might drag you down.

If you get lost, you can always be found..

Quinn stared ahead at the wall blankly, listening to Puck's voice as he talked on the phone with the police. They had figured out what had caused the fire that burnt her house to the ground, or rather who. Arson, they were calling it. One of the firemen had found a silver lighter in the ruins of Quinn's dining room and the official statement was that someone had broken into her house and lit the fire to cover their tracks. It made sense. Quinn's house was easily the most expensive home on the street and the police figured the fire starter had thought an elderly couple had owned the home, making it an easy target. There were people she should call: insurance, her assistant, the people that managed her personal documents. But she couldn't bring herself to care long enough to call them. As far as she was concerned, her past had burnt in that fire and she was glad to leave it there.

Her cell phone ringing loudly broke her out of her thoughts, the blonde sitting up in bed and reaching for her phone that had been left in her car that Puck had driven to the store. Part of her wished that her phone had been in the fire, too.

"Hello?" Quinn asked, holding the sheets to her breasts as if the person on the other end of the line could see that she was naked. She expected Rachel, or Santana, or maybe even her mom. At least Rachel's cat had seemed to escape the fire, so that was good.

"Hello? It's me, Beth. Rachel gave me her phone to call you, she said your house was on fire," Beth breathed hurriedly, clearly worried for her parents, her voice high pitched with concern and panic.

"Beth? We're fine, baby. The fire happened whilst we were at the store, we're completely fine," she assured her daughter, lying slightly. Beth didn't need to know the details. It would do nothing but freak her out and she didn't want her baby worrying about her.

"And you're ok?" Beth breathed, her voice hitching. She was nervous, Quinn could tell by the breathlessness of her words. She spoke like that when she was nervous too, or so she had been told.

"I'm perfectly fine, baby. I promise," Quinn murmured, slipping out of the bed and heading into the bathroom, Puck still sat out on the balcony. He was taking the fire seriously, like she was upset that her house had been burnt into ashes. She could hear Shelby in the background from Beth's end of the line and she couldn't help but grit her teeth when she heard the raven haired woman ask Beth who she was talking to.

"I'm talking to Quinn, mommy!" Beth yelled back, Quinn biting down on her cheek so hard that she could taste the blood on her tongue from where her teeth had cut her skin open.

Quinn.

That's all she was to her daughter. She wasn't her mom; she hadn't been in her life for longer than a couple of hours. Shelby was her mommy, whilst she was a glorified stranger.

"Sweetie, I've got to go. We have to sort some things out with the house. I love you," Quinn breathed, closing her eyes as she felt her stomach roll. Beth didn't know that her mother was sick to her stomach because she could never be her mom. It was her fault, really. She had chosen adoption, a closed one at that. Legally, she had no right to even be in contact with her daughter for another eight years.

"Ok, I'm glad you're ok," Beth whispered before hanging up, the click of the dead line sounding like a gun shot. She hated that contact with her child could be snatched away so easily, with the simple press of a button. It wasn't right and it shouldn't be that way. But it was, and she had to learn to accept it.

Quinn set the phone down with a long sigh, closing her eyes and leaning her hands against the counter, her eyes drawn to the condom machine, then the small pile of broken ones she had piled next to the small bottles of shampoo. She felt awful for the amount of times she had tricked Puck into sleeping with her last night whilst believing they were protected, but she had to do it. The last time she asked him to give her a baby, he shot her down. She couldn't take that risk, not again, not now.