love me again

the breaking of SSO

" People say you don't know what you've got until it's gone..........

truth is you know what you had, you just thought you'd never loose it."

A mere press conference did what no one has achieved to attain yet. A mere press conference brought the great SSO on his knees, clutching his heart in pain. His heart which seemed carrying the wait of whole world, his heart which has shattered many time, broken many times and then rekindled felt like a broken shard has been pierced through the stitches holding it together. As he howled like an wounded animal, sending shivers of fright among everyone around them. As he sobbed and cried, letting everything stored inside of him coming out, like a river breaking the dam, ready to flood everything around it.

The river which is life giving as long as it is clam and gentle it's serene but when it's in destructing mode having enough of everything, having enough of being used without a care is horrifying. It destroy everything in it's path not caring for anything.

And the dam known as Shivaaye Singh Oberoi has finally broken. It was highly pain inducing for the family to watch their great wall finally breaking, finally unleashing every pain stored inside his soul.

"Nooooooooo" He screamed his voice full of anguish, " no" he whimpered to himself. He had lost all that mattered to him. He had lost his first love just like that. he was a fool to think after everything this family has done to her, he had done to her. She will still want him. She will still believe in his love, she will still believe in their love.

He felt hands steadying him, trying to support him, trying to make him stand but he just didn't want to stand now. He have been broken, finally broken. He just don't want to stand and face the harsh realities now. he just wants to weep and cry and have someone protect him too.

"bhai, Shivaaye " he heard various frantic yells for his name but he couldn't pay any heed to them right now as his glazed eyes continued starring at the direction of the door where he could see her looking at him with despair filled eyes. He could hear her voice reach him clearly amidst all the chaos around him. Her voice, clearly ringing in his head as she spoke to him her voice full of sadness yet she mocked him" kaha tha na jitna dard meina saha h iss ishq mein tum bardasht nhi kr paoge, tut jaoge.....jaise mein bikhri thi ( I've told you the amount of pain I've to go through in this love you can't tolerate the same amount of pain, you will break......the same way I've shattered)"

She continued taunting him her voice soft her words sharp " Kaha tha na If I behaved the way you behaved with me, you would have already left me.....nhi....tell me if you were a girl and I a guy and I behaved you the way you behaved with me would you stay, leave that always a girl is told to adjust so maybe you would have also suffered silently like me but if someone manhandled Prinku like you manhandled me, force her in a relation will you ask her to continue living in that house, won't you whisk her away from every pain and sufferings. Will you ask her to stay??" She questioned him, her voice soft and full of the silent misery. she had to spent because of them, she wanted to ask him was all the torture bestowed upon her was a result of her being orphan if she was rich and had her parents protection would the great SSO still behave that way with her.

He nodded his head frantically in negative and she smiled a smile full of melancholy, she whispered again to him as if this was a secret "you know this just half percent of pain and shame and inferior I felt when you announced Tia as your bride in front of the world, while I stood their in side watching and you know like this you threw me out of this house, closing yours as well as my doors of heart forever" she demonstrated herself being thrown out of OM to him and disappeared from his sight.

"NO.....ANIKA, DON't GO............ANIKAAAAAAA" he screamed his voice hoarse from all the screaming

"Shivaaye" all the people around him tried to bring him out of the Anika induced trance he was in but no avail until Ishana had enough and slapped Shivaaye hard bringing him back to reality while the others looked at her and Shivaaye both shocked

"Mum....she moved on.........she moved on just like that.....how could she??"  Shivaaye questioned his mum, looking like a broken child asking his mother where did he go wrong, why no one loves him.

"Shivu" she could just say his name, caressing his head

"Don't billu, it that girl's fault not yours" Dadi said feeling so helpless watching her grandson's condition not knowing the truth, she could never forgive Anika for what she did.

"Yes, Shivaaye...it was her mistake" Jhanvi agreed whole heartily but their replies just seemed to anger Shivaaye more as he shouted on top of his voice " she wasn't at fault, I was every time it was my fault not hers, it was me, my mistake"

saying so he stormed off to the solace of his own room, big fat tears falling out of his eyes making everything seemed blurry around him as he entered inside the room and closed the doors of his room.

He slid down his back resting again the door as another sob wrecked out of him. He reminisced their lovely moments here in this room. Their eye locks, her crazy antics, her bubbly laugh, her wink, her smile, their romance, their soothing moments, their love.

He could clearly see her saunter in this room calling him billuji, no matter how many times he prohibited her from calling that irritating name. she stubbornly called him with the same name. The way they bickered and cared for each other. Each moment, spent with her was flowing in front of his eyes.

"And how many happy memories are their of us" he heard him ask again sitting beside him looking at him, her eyes questioning and he just stared back at her blankly " few and countable" she answered her own question looking at him and reminiscing him of every pain, every humiliation and every other thing she had go through because of him.

She was right he suddenly realized, she had faced only pain in his love......."Anika, I promise you won't face anymore pain in my love, just happiness, only happiness " he promised but with that promise he again remembered the cause of this misery, his Anika wasn't his anymore, she was someone else wife, someone else love, someone who had filled her life with happiness a feat he was unable to achieve.

The pain his soul was suffering through now was unexplained. Maybe he was disillusioned, maybe he was still too blind in love to not have ever realized  that he wasn't the only one capable of loving her, their were men better than him out their who were capable of loving her more. Persons capable of healing her broken soul. Persons capable of healing the shards of ice  left inside her by him. The fire inside her soul, the unyielding spirit was already diminished by her attempts to heal him. She has turned in a beast like him, trying to heal him and out their someone was capable of healing her with their love too. A simple fact he never thought about because he thought his love, their love was enough.

But he had forgotten the Anika he had fell for wasn't one to weep, she was a fighter, a fighter who was lost somewhere being attached to him. A fighter he was again seeing now. He remember her telling Saumya " If he restricts you from doing what you love. Then leave him"

She was fire, a phoenix, whose tears had the healing capacity, a phoenix who is a free bird and hate captivity. She never showed it but she hated this golden cage known as OM, she loved her freedom more than anything and she had flown away. He has released her from this case and she isn't his anymore.

His Anika isn't his anymore. She is someone else now. He has no rights on her. He was an idiot to think when they will meet she will accept him back just like that, he will say sorry and they will get their happily ever after but he never realized Anika wasn't the one to keep crying over split milk. She stood up again, she moved on and now is denying even accepting him.

But could he blame her, he was the one who didn't gave her the rights she deserve. He didn't introduce her to the world in fear of their reputation and now she is someone else wife.

Tune toh mera dil bhi toh kuch esse toda tha played in his head in Anika's voice as if she is now taking revenge for all the tears she had shed because of him.

"Anika" he sobbed uncontrollably remorsefully 

Their separation was like a stalemate

Neither of them had won

yet both of them had lost.

to be continued.....